


Roadtrip

by youtomyme



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Mentions of bestiality, Mentions of past noncon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-14
Updated: 2013-04-14
Packaged: 2017-12-08 10:24:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 29,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/760295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youtomyme/pseuds/youtomyme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Given a choice, Dean wouldn’t actually be nursing the archangel who screwed him and his brother over several times back to health. Neither would he go on a road trip with the angel to look for said brother. Not that he was given options, of course.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Roadtrip

**Author's Note:**

> Written in part because I wanted to explore ‘light and laughter re-entering Gabriel’s eyes’, in part for Martina’s prompt. Now I’m really bad at geography, but even if I weren’t, I’ve never even been to the United States. Or even Canada. This fic was written by asking around, poring over a (now beaten) atlas, abusing Google maps, and shutting my eyes and stabbing at a random place to figure out where Dean and Gabriel would end up next, hoping that it is inhabited by people. As such, any and all mistakes are mine.
> 
> Martina's prompt is as follows:  
> I want to read a Debriel fic where Dean and Gabriel are forced to go on a roadtrip. Gabriel is stripped of almost all his powers and regains them only slowly. They are not really getting along but the more they are together the more they don’t want to go anywhere without the other. They fall in love and they are searching for Sam and Castiel or something.
> 
> Many thanks to my beta, who I can never thank enough for being simply brilliant. Thanks also to my artist who pulled through for me in the end. The banner is by her, and you can find her art [here](http://chosenfire28.livejournal.com/278902.html)

Three weeks ago, every single light bulb in the house exploded while Dean was helping Ben with his homework and Lisa was doing the laundry. Then the archangel Gabriel appeared in the middle of the living room, looking like he’d passed out there the night before.

‘Who the hell is that?!’ Lisa demanded, once she came rushing inside to see the wreckage.

‘Oh, please no,’ Dean muttered, releasing Ben from where he’d been shielding him from broken glass. Ben scrambled up to his mother in the doorway as Dean approached the prone figure. He crouched down next to him and gently prodded his shoulder. ‘Um … Gabriel?’

Gabriel didn’t stir. He wasn’t even breathing, although Dean couldn’t be too sure that wasn’t part of the whole angel thing. Gabriel could pack a really heavy hit, but his body was light and pliant, and Dean laid him down on the couch after clearing it of glass.

‘I think it’s an angel,’ Dean told Lisa and Ben when they were sitting around a candle at the dining table. Ben laughed until he realised Dean was serious.

‘That’s what an angel looks like?’ he asked, fascinated.

‘No. They have to inhabit a human body when they want to walk on Earth, so they have to get permission from some poor schmuck to use their body.’

‘Huh.’

The next day, Dean came down to make breakfast to find that Gabriel was awake. He was sitting up on the couch, looking disorientated.

‘Hey,’ Dean barked, making Gabriel flinch. ‘You awake?’

‘I – Dean?’ Gabriel stammered, looking up at him. To Dean’s surprise, he was looking almost scared. ‘Where am I?’

‘What do you mean, where are you?’ Dean sat down beside him. ‘This is my girlfriend’s place. Last night all the lights shattered and you just appeared here.’

‘Oh.’ Gabriel leaned back, frowning as if trying to remember something. ‘My last memory is of Lucifer stabbing me in the stomach and leaving me to die at the motel.’

‘ _What_?’ said Dean with alarm. ‘That was _months_ ago. So, what, your daddy just brought you back?’

‘I don’t know. Maybe.’ Gabriel crossed his arms on the armrest and lay down his head tiredly. ‘I feel exhausted. Can you get me something to eat?’

‘Yeah,’ Dean was nodding before he got up. ‘I was just about to make breakfast. You can join us in a bit, or I’ll bring it to you later.’

‘Thanks.’ Gabriel’s eyes closed even as Dean looked on.

So it turned out that, yeah, it was probably God who brought Gabriel back, and He had decided to do so without returning Gabriel’s powers all at once. Gabriel thought he would recover them slowly, and when he announced that he was getting better reception on the angel radio on his second week, they thought this meant things were beginning to look up.

Newly resurrected and powerless, Gabriel was only a shadow of his former self. Dean and Lisa made up the guest room for him, and he spent a lot of time sleeping and reading. Dean thought Gabriel would be more of a TV guy, but apparently, he thought the Dr. Sexy book was way better than the show. He’d only come down for meals, and even then he would act tense and alert until Dean kicked him and told him that he freaked Ben out. After that he was more relaxed, but the wariness never left the line of his shoulders.

It was a surprise then when Gabriel came down while Dean was making lunch and leaned on the counter, crossing his arms.

‘How’re you feeling?’ Dean asked almost on autopilot. It was routine for him to ask it every time Gabriel showed his face.

‘Not so tired anymore,’ Gabriel answered with a yawn. ‘But my brain’s a little fuzzy. You’re going to play baseball with Ben later, right?’

‘Yeah, why?’ Dean glanced over curiously as he turned off the stove.

‘Can I join?’ Gabriel asked almost shyly. ‘I know a thing or two about baseball.’

‘If you want,’ said Dean, taken aback but secretly pleased by the development. Lisa hadn’t exactly been thrilled about having a stranger in the house, let alone the archangel Gabriel who recited Revelations in his sleep. He hoped it was a sign that Gabriel was getting strong enough to leave them soon.

It turned out that what Gabriel knew of baseball largely comprised of the fact that he had helped lay down the early basics. He didn’t know much about modern baseball, which he called ‘too complicated’, much to Ben’s amusement. Gabriel was a good catch though, and Ben took great pleasure in hurling balls at him in increasingly complex manoeuvres to see Gabriel twist his body in ways that probably weren’t humanly possible in order to catch them. Once or twice, Dean thought he caught sight of the old Gabriel in the hazel eyes, but it always disappeared so fast, he might as well have imagined it.

The healthy glow definitely wasn’t an illusion though, so when they all sat down to dinner, Dean said ‘I think you should go out more, Gabriel.’

‘You just want me out of the house,’ Gabriel said idly as he ate his mashed potatoes. Dean was still slightly concerned about the fact that Gabriel had yet to ask for candy, but he was positive that Gabriel wasn’t a shapeshifter, vampire, werewolf, demon, or any other normally dangerous supernatural creature, so it got a pass. 

‘Well you don’t do anything inside,’ Dean said, a little more irritably than he meant to.

But Gabriel didn’t seem to notice as he shrugged and said, ‘Okay. You can send me out for groceries and all.’

‘Can you drive?’ said Lisa, eyeing him suspiciously.

‘No, but I can fly.’ He smiled. It was clearly meant to be a cheeky grin, but it fell rather flat.

His plan couldn’t be carried out the next day because he passed out that night and didn’t wake up until the next evening.

‘I guess that means you should take it easy with going out,’ Dean said when Gabriel came down that night for food. ‘And don’t fly. Just walk. The store isn’t that far away and I’m sure you can take the groceries in one trip.’

‘Right.’

-

Sometimes Dean prayed for Castiel, partly because he kind of missed the feathery bastard, but mostly because he was trying for any answers about Gabriel. Castiel never came, but Dean had no hard feelings. He realised that Heaven was probably a galactic mess right now, and if Dean was an angel, he wouldn’t have time to tend to the relatively trivial concerns of a human either.

But Gabriel still freaked Dean out now and then. Dean would have thought he’d like a beer on occasion, but he seemed rather averse to it. He didn’t even seem to miss sex.

‘Okay, I have to ask,’ Dean said come the fourth week, ‘why haven’t you asked for a stripper, or at least a chocolate bar yet? Are you secretly sneaking out?’

Gabriel looked up from _Dracula_ and sighed. ‘I’d love sugar, Dean, but my body is mostly human right now, and it has human tastes. It’s still weak and it has no appetite for either candy or sex.’ He rolled his shoulders as if flexing wings. ‘I get this feeling like …’ He looked down at his hands. ‘Like I want to eat chocolate, but as soon as I think about _eating_ chocolate, I feel like throwing up.’ He looked back up at Dean. ‘Is that normal?’

Dean stared back and nodded slowly. ‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘That happens.’

Still frowning, Gabriel went back to his book while Dean debated asking him the question that had really been preying on his mind.

‘Is there something else you want to ask me?’ Gabriel asked after a moment without tearing his eyes away.

‘Uh, yeah.’ Dean hesitated. ‘Why … did God bring you back? Do you have any idea?’

‘He probably wants me to help restore Heaven to its natural order while teaching me a lesson in humility blah blah blah,’ Gabriel replied, turning a page.

‘And why here, exactly?’

‘Where else would I get help?’ Gabriel was steadily focused on his book – a little too steadily, Dean thought. ‘It’s not like I have friends. Most people I’ve come across want to put a stake through my heart. And in this body, it would work.’

Dean immediately felt bad about wanting the guy out of the house. He realised that it was true, he was the only person on the planet who wouldn’t gank Gabriel at the sight of him.

-

‘You know, I’m really sorry about the Gabriel situation.’

‘Yeah, you should be,’ Lisa snorted as she slipped underneath the covers and pressed herself up against him. ‘When I let you in I didn’t expect to have to count expenses for a sick angel too.’

‘But he doesn’t have anywhere else to go,’ Dean said, placing a hand on her side. ‘And he helped us save the world, so I figure I owe him.’

‘I get it,’ Lisa said, her eyes drifting shut. ‘It’s okay. I just hope that this means when I die, I’ll get the luxury suite in Heaven.’

Which was a nice way of seeing it.

-

In the middle of Gabriel’s third month, Dean came home from work to find the angel sitting cross-legged in front of the bookshelf which had been neatly arranged according to genre, and then alphabetical order according to title. Dean opened his mouth to say he wouldn’t be impressed until Gabriel learned to fully stock the refrigerator when Gabriel got up, turned to him and said ‘Did you know Sam is alive?’

It was like having a concrete block hurled at his stomach. Dean had to clutch at the doorway to keep himself upright until Gabriel rushed to him and held him up. There hadn’t been a single day Dean hadn’t thought of Sam, turned to talk to a Sam that was no longer there, wished for Sam’s presence and his goofy smile. The pain gnawed at him constantly, like a virus he could feel eating at him, and -

‘What do you mean – alive?’ he choked out.

‘I told you the voices of my brothers and sisters were getting louder,’ Gabriel said, leading him to the couch with amazing strength for the guy who’d pass out if he went out for longer than three hours in two days. ‘Today I heard someone say “Sam Winchester has been saved”. It wasn’t big news like when you were pulled out of Hell; that’s why I only heard it today.’

‘He – an angel pulled him out?’ Dean asked, gripping Gabriel’s arm so tightly, it would have left bruises on anyone else. Gabriel didn’t even flinch. ‘That’s – but how –‘

‘I guess, but I don’t know. That’s all I heard. I tried looking for him but when I went farther than this town, my vision got blurry.’

‘But if he’s out, why hasn’t he contacted me?!’ Dean demanded, shaking Gabriel’s arm. ‘That’s not like him!’

‘I don’t know,’ Gabriel said gently. Dean realised belatedly that Gabriel was rubbing soothing circles on his back. ‘I just know he’s alive. I’m positive of it.’

‘Oh my God.’ Dean let his head fall to rest on Gabriel’s shoulder, and they stayed that way until they heard Ben come home from soccer practice.

For the next week, Dean spent all his free time calling up old contacts and looking past old grudges to look for signs of Sam. Gabriel helped him, and it had the added bonus of not draining him of energy. The first person Dean called, of course, was Bobby.

‘Hey Bobby, it’s me,’ Dean said, leaning against the counter while Gabriel flipped through John’s journal. ‘How’ve you been? … I was just wondering, I’ve heard that – that Sam might be around, have you heard from him? … Yeah, yeah I know, but still … Okay, thanks Bobby. Take care of yourself … See you.’

‘I think Robert Singer is lying,’ Gabriel said absently, handing Dean a business card with a name and number on it.

‘I think so too,’ Dean mumbled, ashamed of himself for admitting it.

Every day, Dean returned from work to find Gabriel at the dining table or in front of the television, surrounded by papers, names, numbers, and addresses. A few hunters were not as tight-lipped as Bobby and reported having seen Sam hunting, and he was rarely alone. Gabriel took down all these places, but the trail always went stale pretty quickly. He even went as far as to take a bus out of town (without Dean’s permission!) to snoop around for Sam, then Dean had to wait another twelve hours after he got back for him to wake up and relate what he found.

During this time, Dean was more grateful than ever to have Gabriel around. Gabriel regained the ability to make things around him fly during this period too, and he found great pleasure in sitting at the kitchen table with his feet on it, summoning snacks and paper to him while he called people up.

The lack of exertion did Gabriel good. He was teaching Ben math, which made Lisa resent his presence a lot less. But she also was becoming increasingly tense by the day, and it finally culminated in her asking Dean for ‘a talk – in private’.

‘You can’t do this anymore,’ she said.

‘Uh?’ Dean answered intelligently.

‘I know you want to find Sam,’ she explained patiently. ‘And I think you should go.’

‘What – are you serious?!’

‘You’re obviously not getting anywhere calling people up from here, and honestly, I’m getting sick of you pacing up and down the house with frustration pouring off you in waves. It’s better if you go.’

‘But – Ben – and you –‘ he stammered, still not quite believing that she _wanted_ him gone.

‘Ward the house or whatever it is,’ she huffed. ‘I get that this is something you have to do. Just – call back sometimes.’

‘Every day,’ he promised.

‘And take Gabriel with you.’

‘Obviously,’ he chuckled.

Truth be told, Dean kind of felt like he was being dumped or kicked out, but mostly he was relieved. Every time he heard of Sam having been found in a different state, he pined to go, but felt that his duty to his girlfriend and girlfriend’s son was greater. Now he would have that freedom.

The only downside was that he would have to take Gabriel. Whom he still mostly hated, thanks.

‘I don’t want you to go,’ Ben pouted.

‘Sorry Ben,’ Dean paused in the act of taking inventory of the Impala to face the boy. ‘It’s something I have to do. I’ll come back as soon as I find him.’

‘Will you call?’ Ben implored.

‘I’ll visit whenever I happen to be near.’

Ben sighed. ‘Who’s going to make my Halloween mask this year?’

‘I’ll send a package.’

‘This sucks.’

‘I know, kid. I’m sorry.’

Apparently, Ben and Gabriel were closer than either Dean or Lisa had suspected, as Ben afterwards went to Gabriel to complain about his departure too.

‘I still don’t get factors!’ Ben whined.

‘Then I’ll call you every night until you do,’ Gabriel said, ruffling his hair.

‘And who’s going to teach me about really weird Norse gods?’

‘I will, of course. I just won’t be right in front of you when I do anymore.’

‘This isn’t _fair_!’

‘Wow, now I _really_ feel bad for every time I wished Gabriel was gone,’ Lisa muttered.

‘Tell me about it,’ said Dean.

They went, eventually, after Dean had drawn every ward he could think of on the walls and Gabriel, with monumental effort, made them invisible, stuffed protective hex bags in every crevice he could find, and made sure they were overstocked on salt. Dean kissed Lisa goodbye while Gabriel slunk over to the passenger side of the Impala and made himself comfortable.

‘Where to first?’ Dean asked, sliding behind the wheel.

‘Vegas,’ Gabriel said in a dead voice that killed the joke.

‘Man, aren’t you going to be a joy to have around,’ Dean said under his breath as he drove out of the garage.

-

Their most recent tip placed Sam somewhere in Denver, and even that had been two weeks ago. But it was their best shot, and Gabriel said he might be able to trace Sam’s presence by the time they got there, so they went.

If you had asked Dean four months ago how he expected a road trip with the archangel Gabriel to go, he would have said that it would be annoying, filled with candy and rest stops at shady bars, but certainly always interesting.

Gabriel was currently the most boring person to go on a road trip with. He tried reading, but it gave him a headache, so he merely rested his head on the window and watched the world go by. He was fascinated by the silliest things, like telephone booths in the middle of deserted highways. Sam’s bitching was better than this, Dean though, and that was saying something.

The silence became deafening, so Dean put on a tape. That made Gabriel perk up.

‘Led Zeppelin,’ he said after a moment.

‘Congratulations, would you like a prize?’ said Dean sarcastically.

‘They’re not bad,’ Gabriel went on as if Dean hadn’t said anything. ‘But my favourite band is Queen.’ 

Huh. ‘I think they’re pretty cool too.’

It earned him a grin, and suddenly, Gabriel was a whole lot preferable to Sam’s bitching.

‘Are you bored?’ Gabriel asked, stretching out on the seat. 

‘Kind of. You’re boring.’

‘Okay. Once upon a time –‘

‘Oh, seriously?’

‘- the city of Asgard was a beautiful dwelling,’ Gabriel persisted. ‘It isn’t anymore, not since Baldr died. Everyone was kind of a wreck when he was killed, and it was supposed to signal the end of Yggdrasil –‘

‘Igdawhat?’

‘ _Yggdrasil_ ,’ Gabriel repeated. ‘That’s the World Tree. It’s supposed to symbolise the nine realms that exist. There aren’t only nine realms of course, but Odin never found out that Mimir’s well was kind of a fluke. See, it only contains as much wisdom as is known at the time, and it wasn’t like anyone had come up with the multiverse theory back then, so –‘

‘Wait! I’m lost. Go back.’

‘Alright, alright, I’ll start from the beginning,’ Gabriel said exasperatedly. Dean could just _feel_ his eye-roll, and he poked his side. ‘Ouch!’ He poked Dean back, and they had a little scuffle until Dean managed to grab both Gabriel’s wrists with one hand and held him down.

‘Stop and tell your story,’ he grumbled, releasing him.

‘ _Fine_. So the gods have existed since the beginning of time, right? The whole thing with Lucifer and Michael happened before time existed, so by the time Eve was pregnant, I’d already begun to become a pagan god too, and I joined the Norse gods.’ He paused. ‘Because I hate Zeus. He’d never let me have a hot chick to myself for more than three seconds.’

Dean laughed, and maybe Gabriel was looking at him and smiling too.

‘Anyway, so Odin and his people had been fighting the Frost Giants for ages, because the Frost Giants wanted to take Midgard – that’s Earth – for themselves, and the Aesir – Odin and his people – wanted to live and let live with the humans. I actually considered becoming a Frost Giant for a while, but one of the Aesir, Idunn, figured out how to make apples and sugar.’

‘Typical,’ Dean snorted.

‘What can I say, it was one of the few luxuries before processed food. They hadn’t invented treaties back then either, so I made Odin create the first one. They had a truce with Farbauti, the king of the Frost Giants, that they’d each keep to their respective realms. The Frost Giants went back to Jotunheim, and Odin decided he wanted to settle down on a nice big hill and call it Asgard.

‘After building the city and all –‘

‘Did you help?’ Dean interjected.

‘’Course I did. I kept the maidens company.’

‘Hah. Productive.’

‘Don’t pretend you wouldn’t have done the same.’

Fair enough.

‘After building the city, Odin met a guy who said he’d build up a nice big wall around Asgard so no one could attack from the outside. Everyone says Odin All-father is the smartest guy ever, but he isn’t. And back then, Odin knew it too. The guy said “If I can build this wall in less time than it takes for a pregnant woman to give birth, you have to give me Sol and Mani and Freya”. Sol is the sun, Mani is the moon, and Freya is a chick who _really_ gets around.’

‘Odin can give people the sun and the moon?’ said Dean incredulously.

‘I don’t know.’

‘Oh.’

‘Odin was all “There is _no way_ anyone could build a wall around my huge-ass city in nine months” and to prove it, he got a chick, impregnated her, then got the guy working.’

‘Kinda overkill, isn’t it?’

‘Like I said, people back then weren’t all that smart. It was still the beginning of the world, after all.

‘Anyway, the guy hadn’t made the bet for nothing –‘

‘You keep calling him “the guy”,’ Dean interrupted. ‘Doesn’t he have a name?’

Gabriel shrugged. ‘Hell if I know. I was busy at the time. _Anyway_ , he hadn’t made the bet for nothing, and he’d brought around this huge horse whose name was Svadilfari and he was the _personification_ of “horsepower”. He worked so fast, the girl only had a little baby bump by the time he had three quarters of it done, and Odin started to panic. So he called all the gods and goddesses and told us about his fuck-up. Freya had a panic attack, and would you believe it, everyone just stood there staring at me like they were expecting me to come up with some grand idea to save their sorry asses.’

‘What did you do?’

‘Nothing really,’ Gabriel replied airily. ‘But just before Svadilfari had placed the last brick on the gateway to Asgard, a pretty little mare skipped out of the woods and laughed at him for being a slave. So he ran after her and wasn’t seen until the girl gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. So Odin got a free wall, Freya’s not a sex slave, and Frigga, Odin’s wife, got Svadilfari as a present, and everyone’s happy.’

‘Everyone except the guy who built the wall,’ said Dean pointedly.

‘Yep. He actually went kind of bonkers over it. But that’s another story. There’s a gas station a mile ahead, you need to refuel.’

Dean looked, and – what do you know. Where does the time go?

‘You want anything from the station?’ Dean asked as he pulled in.

The angel knit his brows as he contemplated something. ‘I think I’ll try some chocolate,’ he said finally. ‘Cadbury, black forest, or dairy milk.’

‘Okay,’ Dean said, and climbed out of the car.

When he came back, Gabriel was asleep.

-

It had been months since Dean had last checked into a shabby motel, but pulling into the parking lot of the ‘Daisy Motel’ was almost like coming home. _Almost_. He still hated those scratchy sheets and lumpy mattresses.

‘Hey, sleeping beauty,’ he said, shaking Gabriel awake. ‘We’re at the motel.’

‘Are we there yet?’ Gabriel mumbled sleepily. It was actually kind of cute – oh God, he had not just thought that.

‘No but it’s still a ways away so we’re staying the night.’

‘In a motel room?’ Gabriel said, glancing out.

‘Hey, you wanna stay in a five-star suite, you can zap us right there, I won’t object.’

‘Fine,’ Gabriel sighed. He got out of the other side and Dean threw his bag to him over the car.

‘I forgot I’m going to have to lug this thing around now,’ Gabriel said, blinking blankly at it.

‘Then you better get used to it,; I’m not going to pick up after you.’ Dean began to walk away and Gabriel jogged to catch up.

‘Did you order us separate rooms?’ he asked.

‘I can’t afford that,’ Dean said irritably although it couldn’t possibly be Gabriel’s fault that he wouldn’t know that. The two had, after all, so far been living in relative luxury together. ‘I got us a room with two beds, so don’t try anything funny in the middle of the night.’

‘Like what?’ Gabriel said innocently, and Dean couldn’t tell whether he was serious or not.

‘Just remember we’re sharing a room, okay?’ he huffed.

‘What do you and Sam do to gain money on the road? Do you just do credit card scams or what?’

‘Yeah mostly, but we hustled pool a lot too.’

‘Nice,’ Gabriel laughed. ‘Honest work too troublesome for you guys?’

‘That a problem with you?’ Dean shot back, and immediately felt guilty when Gabriel’s smile faded.

‘No,’ Gabriel said, clearly offended. ‘I’ve never had to pay for anything in my life. In comparison, you guys are plenty honest.’

They arrived at the motel room, and Gabriel took a moment to survey it before silently tossing his bag on the nearest bed. Dean busied himself with the process of taking out his things for a shower. When he came back out, Gabriel was nibbling at the chocolate Dean had bought for him and reading John’s journal.

‘You should teach me some ways to earn money, too,’ Gabriel said promptly, closing the book and looking up. ‘And how to aim a gun, and use a knife and all. Maybe some refresher courses on common monsters too, I never really killed them the traditional way.’

It was Gabriel’s way of contributing to the trip, and Dean was oddly touched. He nodded, feeling a little awkward as he said ‘Yeah, okay. We’ll do that.’

Gabriel didn’t quite smile, but his stance relaxed, as if forgiving their previous friction. He gathered up his things and went to the bathroom. ‘Can we get food after this?’

‘Sure.’

-

Dean could put up with a lot of things. Sam liked diner food too, but he also loved really weird salads and sometimes insisted on going to places with fancy salad bars that had fifteen different shakers of spices. Dean always knew that he and Gabriel were alike, but he was not prepared to handle a second (although significantly smaller) Sam in appetite.

‘Do you even know how _unhealthy_ that is?’ Gabriel said in a scandalised voice.

‘You’re one to talk, you used to eat nothing but candy!’

‘Yeah, but my angelic metabolism could handle it. Did Castiel just clear your arteries every time you were about to have a heart attack or something?’

‘I’m young yet,’ Dean said indignantly. ‘I wouldn’t have a heart attack from eating a couple of burgers every week!’

‘Actually yes, he did,’ Gabriel said, ignoring him. ‘That’s great, does he know I’m here and counts on me to do it now?’

He’d forgotten what a pain in the _ass_ travelling with an angel can be.

‘I’m trying to help!’ Gabriel protested.

‘Did you just read my mind?!’ Dean asked heatedly.

‘No,’ said Gabriel rather primly. ‘You’re just easy to read.’ 

The _things_ Dean has to put up with to save the world, _honestly_. He didn’t talk to Gabriel for the rest of their trip to Denver even though Gabriel remained awake, staring out the window.

He had to talk once they were there, though.

‘Can you sense him?’

‘Who?’ Gabriel said, to Dean’s vexation.

‘Sam,’ he said through gritted teeth.

‘Oh, right,’ Gabriel said like he’d forgotten the whole point of their trip. ‘Just drive for a while.’

To this, Dean obliged for an hour, winding through streets crowded with people and back alleys full of rats and scrawny cats. At times, Gabriel leaned forward promisingly, frowning at something or other; other times, he merely lay slumped against the seat, eyes half-closed. Finally, Dean couldn’t take it anymore and said ‘Well?’

It took Gabriel two minutes to answer.

‘You two have been here before, haven’t you?’ he said. ‘At the same time.’

‘We might have hunted once or twice in Colorado, yeah. Why?’

‘That’s all I can trace,’ Gabriel said. ‘It’s like Sam hasn’t been anywhere near here in years.’

‘Great,’ Dean said with a mixture of exasperation and annoyance. ‘You think we might have been lied to?’

‘No. I mean, I don’t think so. But I’m not sure.’ Gabriel shrugged. ‘And if you want to know, there’s a vengeful spirit terrorising people fifty miles west of here.’

‘Goody, a hunt,’ Dean muttered. ‘What do you think?’

‘I’d like to save them,’ Gabriel said. ‘But I don’t know how, like this.’

‘Fine, I guess it’ll be a lesson in killing supernatural creatures the human way for you,’ Dean said, changing route. ‘Do you think you could handle it – right now?’

‘I think so,’ Gabriel sighed.

‘You sure, ‘cause you sound beat up, man.’

‘Yes. I’m sure.’

-

‘That was fun,’ said Gabriel cheerfully, despite the fact that he’d severely cut his leg running and the side of his face was bleeding. ‘I really appreciate what you two do to keep the world a better place now.’

‘Oh God,’ said Dean, who was holding him up and leading him to the car.

They didn’t actually have much trouble with the spirit, but Gabriel was worse at running than someone who’d lost a rabbit’s foot, and he also forgot that he had a gun at one point which gave an opening to the spirit to attack him.

All in all, it _could_ have been worse.

‘I’m just afraid you’re going to pass out for a week after this,’ Dean said, gracefully shoving Gabriel into the passenger side of the Impala.

‘I might,’ Gabriel acknowledged, kicking off his shoes and folding the injured leg onto the seat. ‘I never _feel_ like I will when I overexert myself.’

‘So where’ll we go next?’ Dean asked.

‘I still say Vegas.’

‘I think we should look for hunts,’ Dean said, picking up a newspaper. ‘Sam’s probably looking for them too. Who knows, we could be lucky.’

‘Sounds good enough. We’re going to get me fixed first, right?’

‘There’s a first aid kit in the back,’ Dean said as he began to scan the paper.

After a few moments of stillness, he looked up at Gabriel. ‘First aid kit?’

‘As if I know how to use it!’ said Gabriel, sounding disgruntled.

At that, Dean couldn’t help it. He _had_ to laugh and Gabriel scowled all the more. ‘What, don’t you even know how to apply antiseptic and put on a bandage?’

‘I’ve never even had to think of that,’ Gabriel said, crossing his arms as his pout became more pronounced.

‘You’re such a pain,’ Dean said, still chuckling. ‘Here, look for anything weird.’ He pushed the newspaper into Gabriel’s hands and turned to scrabble around on the backseat. When he had procured the kit, he pulled Gabriel’s leg onto his lap, causing the angel to yelp as he was yanked forward.

‘Warning!’ he barked.

‘You knew I was going to do it,’ Dean retaliated. ‘Now watch how I do it.’

‘There’s a potential hunt in Wyoming,’ Gabriel told him, tossing the newspaper aside before sitting up. ‘I think its demons.’

‘Good. Love killing demons.’ Dean started to dab on antiseptic, and Gabriel recoiled with a loud ‘ _Ouch_!’

‘Don’t be such a big baby,’ Dean said, failing to suppress a smirk.

‘I’m new to this human thing,’ Gabriel said, making the newspaper scrunch up into a ball and aim itself at Dean’s head. It bounced harmlessly off.

‘Just dig your nails into your uninjured leg or something,’ Dean said, pulling him back.

‘How does that help?!’ Gabriel demanded with horror.

‘Gabriel, I swear that if you keep complaining, I am going to leave you like this.’

Gritting his teeth, Gabriel obliged. He flinched and tensed the whole time and Dean was tempted to tell him to do it himself. He only didn’t out of the last shred of mercy he owned. When he finished bandaging the leg, he pushed it off and beckoned for Gabriel to come forward. Gabriel slid over reluctantly. His hand somehow found Dean’s arm during the process and gripped it tight as Dean bandaged his face too.

‘There. Done.’

When Gabriel only continued to cling onto him, Dean said ‘What, you want a kiss to make it better too?’

‘That’d be nice,’ Gabriel grinned, and Dean shoved him away.

‘Where in Arizona?’

-

‘After the giant wall of Asgard was almost-completely-built –‘

‘Oh we are so not doing this.’

‘You had fun the last time!’

‘I did not,’ said Dean vehemently, because he hadn’t. He _hadn’t._

‘Yeah, okay, I getcha. So Odin decided he wanted to be a great wiseguy, so he went off to Midgard, and he took me with him. Which was a bad idea really, since Odin wanted to be the smartest guy in Asgard, and I was the smartest guy in Asgard, and taking me with him to get smarter than me … you can see how that wasn’t going to work. But anyway, Midgard and Jotunheim were separated by a mountain range, so eventually, we got to Jotunheim, and Odin told me to go look for food.

‘I found a herd of wild cows, so I kill one and go to cook it, right? And I took it off the roast after an hour or so and cut it open and it wasn’t cooked yet. I roasted it for hours more, and Odin, the SOB, just laughed, shrugged, and went off. Never one to back down from a challenge, I just went on cooking it –‘

‘Really?’ Dean snorted. ‘That was stupid.’

‘No it wasn’t!’ Gabriel protested. ‘I knew it had to be cursed, so I was looking for a way to break the curse, because seriously, cursing wild cows is just a little weird if you ask me. Then this shapeshifter comes along as an eagle and he’s all “I’ll show you how to break the curse if you’ll give me some of that cow” so why not, right? So the eagle beat up an enchanted wind which made the fire grow and cooked the cow. Next thing I know, this guy’s eaten _my entire cow_ –‘

‘How slow are you at eating?’

‘He was an _eagle_ , and a giant one at that. You think I’m going to get myself scratched up over beef? No way. So I put a spell on one of the bits of firewood and stabbed him with it. And the bastard didn’t even have the grace to die.’

Dean laughed despite himself.

‘Instead, he transported us to his humble abode and bound me with a spell, which was very nice after I gave him dinner and all, you know? Then he took his natural form and it turned out he was a Frost Giant by the name of Thiassi, and he was the brother of the guy who built the wall for us.’

‘Wow. Tough luck, dude.’

‘Tell me about it. And he told me that he wouldn’t let me go until I gave him some of Idunn’s apples.’

‘Wait, that’s …’

‘The goddess who grew apples and made sugar,’ Gabriel said promptly. ‘She had magic apples that the gods ate every day so they never aged, way before human sacrifice was invented.’

‘How does that work?’ Dean asked. ‘Magic apples that stop you from growing – is there an age limit or something? ‘Cause if not, wouldn’t the place be overrun with babies?’

‘Nice one, Dean, very sharp,’ said Gabriel condescendingly and Dean rolled his eyes. ‘We had a set of rules. Not just about anybody was allowed to have kids, and they were only allowed to have the apples once they reached a couple of centuries old.’

‘ _A couple of centuries old?_ ’

‘Pagan gods don’t age at the same rate as humans,’ Gabriel explained. ‘Anyway, what’s a guy to do and what’s a few apples, right? I swore I’d get him some, and he let me go back. So I did, and I asked Idunn for some apples, because it’s not like she’ll ever run out of apples. And she just gave me this look like “What the Hell, Loki?” and said no. I asked for like, five apples. She has a whole orchard of apples. And she said no.’

‘Why?’

‘Because the Aesir are racist,’ said Gabriel, folding himself to sit cross-legged on the seat. ‘She said that she’s not allowed to give giants apples because she’s sworn to give them only to the Aesir. Who made her swear it? I don’t know. Neither did she. But I’m a man of my word –‘

‘Hah! That’s a good one. Ouch!’ Something sharp jabbed Dean’s side, although Gabriel had made no visible movement.

‘- and I had to get Thiassi apples somehow,’ Gabriel continued in a flatter tone of voice. Dean felt a bad for it, but shrugged it off. ‘So I left Asgard for a couple of days, and when I came back, I told her I’d seen apples that were brighter and more beautiful than hers. She didn’t believe it, so I told her to go and see, at the border between Jotunheim and Midgard. And she never goes anywhere without the apples that she’s already plucked, so she brought them with her. Then Thiassi caught her. My deal was done.

‘Without the apples, the Aesir aged really fast, the centuries they’d left behind catching up to them. Everybody suspected me of course, they always do –‘

‘Because it usually is your fault,’ Dean couldn’t help saying.

‘If you’d really wanted me to shut up, you could have just said so,’ Gabriel said bitterly.

Dean waited, but Gabriel made good on his word and kept silent. Feeling rather sorry, Dean debated apologising, but decided that if Gabriel couldn’t handle a few (well-deserved) quips, it wasn’t Dean’s problem.

Afterwards, the ride was filled with a thick tension. It put Dean on edge (and squirming with guilt), and he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. When he couldn’t take it anymore, he put on a cassette and turned it up, hoping that Gabriel would maybe break the ice and complain like Sam would, but he didn’t. He only looked out the window so Dean couldn’t see his face.

The temptation to ask was too great, and Dean finally threw in his pride and asked, ‘Wouldn’t you normally be asleep by now?’

‘Do you want me to sleep?’ Gabriel asked coldly, not turning to him. Dean was tempted to hit him, really hit him, while he was vulnerable and could get hurt by Dean’s fists.

‘I guess your stamina is coming back now, huh?’

‘I suppose,’ Gabriel sighed. ‘But I’m still hungry.’

Hungry was good. They could work with hungry.

‘There’s a town a few miles ahead, say we’ll take a detour for dinner?’

‘Okay, but for the love of your – and my – human body could we please get something that won’t kill you within the next five years?’

‘You’re worse than Sam,’ Dean said exasperatedly.

-

‘Hey Ben, how’s it going? How’s school?’

‘I had a soccer game the other day,’ Ben announced over the phone, ‘and everyone’s dads were there, but you weren’t.’

‘C’mon kid, don’t guilt-trip me, it isn’t gonna work,’ Dean said with a faint smile that Gabriel caught. ‘I told you I’ll be back. How’s your mom?’

‘You know,’ Ben said, clearly pouting. ‘You talk to her every day.’

‘Yeah, but she doesn’t tell me everything. Have you had any leaks, a mouse hole in the wall or something?’

‘What? No, why?’

‘Just that if that happens, it’ll probably break a ward or a sigil, and I’d have to teach you how to fix it. Make sure you always have salt handy, okay?’

‘Okay, Dean,’ Ben sighed. ‘Are you with Gabriel?’

Dean glanced over at his companion, who had an eyebrow raised in inquiry.

‘Yeah, ‘course. You wanna talk to him?’

‘Yes please.’

He handed the phone over.

‘Hi Ben,’ said Gabriel, sounding all the more cheerful for talking to him. ‘How’re your grades?’

‘Fine, fine,’ said Ben, waving the question aside. ‘But I need help with my homework.’

‘Really? Is that all I’m here for? Your homework?’ said Gabriel in a mock-hurt voice, even as he began reaching for pen and paper. ‘Yeah, yeah, I’ll help.’

The next twenty minutes were filled with sums and eerily detailed accounts of American presidents. After Gabriel said goodbye and gave the phone back to Dean, he said ‘So I guess we’re kind of like Ben’s crazy uncles now, huh?’

‘I guess,’ Dean chuckled. ‘It’s kind of nice. We should send postcards.’

-

They were cruising in Utah, half with the intention to pursue a potential hunt, but mostly because they were feeling tired and lazy, when Dean’s phone went off. It was on Gabriel’s lap and he answered it.

‘Hello. ... No, but this is his compadre Gabriel, I’ll take the message for him.’ 

Dean flashed him a look, and Gabriel winked.

‘Mm-hmm ... What, no, really?’ Gabriel started, sitting up and began scribbling on a piece of paper that appeared on the dashboard. ‘McCormick County, South Carolina. Anything specific? ... Yeah, alright. Okay. Any idea what he was doing there? ... Thanks, never would have guessed,’ he said sarcastically. ‘... Much better. Thank you very much, hope you get your favourite flowers for Valentine’s Day!’ He hung up.

‘Seriously?’ Dean deadpanned.

‘Do you even know how rare it is that I get a peony these days?’ Gabriel said, folding up the paper and pocketing it. ‘I loved the Victorian era, never could get enough peonies. Of course, I got a lot more than anything,’ he added with a smirk, the meaning of which was completely lost on Dean.

‘Was that a call about Sam?’ he asked instead.

‘Oh yeah. Guess we’re going to South Carolina?’

‘That’s going to take us two days,’ Dean moaned, because it felt like the thing to do. Mostly he was pleased that they had such a fresh tip. ‘Did the guy say when he saw Sam there?’

‘An hour ago,’ Gabriel said promptly. ‘So let’s get going, huh?’

A few moments later, Dean felt compelled to mention ‘I saw you conjuring the paper.’

'Hmm?' It seemed to take Gabriel a moment to understand what Dean said, And then he sounded doubly surprised. 'Oh. I did, didn't I?'

'You didn't realise it?'

‘No. I wanted to do it, and I did it.’

‘Huh. Guess your powers really are coming back.’

‘Yeah.’ Gabriel leaned back on his seat, stretching out an arm dangerously close to Dean’s head. ‘But I don’t think I could conjure up a stripper just yet.’

‘Aw, that’s too bad. I would’ve liked a stripper or two,’ Dean said, throwing him a playful smile.

‘A bar would be nice, is that what you’re saying?’ Gabriel said, returning the look with a smile of his own. ‘You sure you wanna take a stop?’

‘Nah, you’re right.’ Dean’s cheerful expression faded a little. ‘Sammy first.’

After several minutes of silence, Dean voluntarily said ‘You never finished the story of Idunn and Thiassi.’

‘Wow Dean,’ Gabriel said with mock-awe. ‘You remembered their names. I’m impressed. Guess I’m a pretty good story-teller after all, huh?’

‘Hey, you wanna tell the story or not?’

‘I’m flattered you’re asking,’ and God, Dean could just _feel_ the smugness rolling off him in waves. ‘Maybe you could ask one more time, just to prove I’m really wanted?’

‘Bite me.’

‘That makes me feel loved. I never did follow up on my promise to do it. But I thought you’re still with Lisa?’ He laughed at Dean’s groan before finally beginning. ‘So I stopped when the gods were aging and everything, right?’ Dean nodded, and he went on, ‘So everyone immediately suspected me, of course. Thor yelled at me until I told him I’d go after Idunn, even though they didn’t have any proof that I’d actually done it.’ Gabriel rolled his eyes. ‘I swear, those guys would have found any excuse to make me do all the heavy-lifting.’

‘Be grateful, it’s the only place anyone would assume anyone of your size could do _any_ heavy-lifting at all.’

‘You think you’re so funny,’ Gabriel said, although with a large grin.

‘Amn’t I?’

‘Sure. Anyway, my cunning plan was to turn myself into an falcon, which was Skadi’s favourite animal to keep as a pet. Skadi’s the daughter of Thiassi, and she’s not a bad girl. She ended up married to one of the Vanir. I let her capture me as an falcon and bring me to the place she called home. When she went away, I turned Idunn into a sparrow and we flew away. Let me tell you though, she wouldn’t go with me until I’d disintegrate her apples so Thiassi couldn’t get them and we wasted so much time doing that, Thiassi was back by then. It was a narrow chase, Idunn kept screaming because she thought he’d catch up with us, and _whose_ fault would that be?

‘But we got to the walls of Asgard in the end, where all the gods and goddesses were watching from behind, mostly because they’d collapsed there a few days ago and couldn’t move,’ Gabriel chuckled. ‘But I used a spell to light a magic fire on the wall, Idunn and I passed safely, and Thiassi cooked himself. For the next few days, the Asgardians feasted on roasted eagle and apples, and I was hailed as a hero again,’ he finished triumphantly.

‘Fire, huh?’

‘Yeah, it was one of the titles I got while I was staying there. Loki Liesmith. Loki, god of mischief. God of chaos. God of fire. Doer of good and doer of evil.’

Dean laughed at the last one. ‘Yeah, that’s you through and through.’

‘Hm, not sure whether to take that as an insult or a compliment,’ Gabriel said in a thoughtful tone and Dean laughed even harder. 

-

‘Uh, Dean?’

‘Yep.’

‘Have you noticed that we’re on the side of the road?’

‘Yep.’

‘In the middle of nowhere?!’

‘Yep.’

‘Dean!’

‘What?!’

‘Are we sleeping here?’

‘Yes.’

‘We can’t do that!’

‘Why not?’

Gabriel spluttered indignantly.

‘Hey I’m sorry but I’m not risking losing Sam again. We’re going to sleep right here, right now, and in a few hours, we’ll stop by a gas station to buy breakfast. With luck, we’ll arrive before Sam can disappear again. And even if he does, you’ll be able to track him, right?’

‘But –‘

Dean pushed Gabriel’s head down against the seat, then crossed his arms and turned around, closing his eyes.

‘Just go the fuck to sleep,’ he muttered.

He could sense Gabriel’s gaze on him for a while longer, and then felt a warm weight press against his back. He sighed, but didn’t move. If that was what it would take to shut Gabriel up, then so be it.

In the wee hours of the morning when Dean woke up, Gabriel’s face was still pressed against him, a warm, dead weight on his back.

‘Get the fuck off,’ Dean mumbled, poking Gabriel’s side to elicit a response. Gabriel hardly stirred. Dean cursed, then pushed Gabriel against the passenger side door. At this, Gabriel finally cracked an eye open and scowled.

‘Do you even realise how cold it is?’ Gabriel grumbled.

‘Never said this life was easy,’ Dean said, reaching forward to turn on the engine. Gabriel remained pouting as he drew his jacket closer around his body even as Dean turned on the heating.

‘I never used to feel cold when I had all my powers,’ Gabriel said, shivering slightly. ‘My grace would heat up the blood in my vessel’s body. Kali and I always had to use water beds because we’d set the mattress on fire otherwise.’ 

The weather really was cold, and there were still cobwebs in Dean’s brain, but he burst into laughter. ‘Aw man, seriously?’

‘Seriously.’ Gabriel smiled back. ‘It was crazy because we could never have impromptu sex. I mean, it’s not easy to tone it down when you’re caught in the throes of passion. It’s actually kind of how I got the title of fire god, too. Back when I was getting used to my vessel, I used to set all kinds of things on fire.’

‘Cas never did that,’ Dean said with a raised eyebrow, thinking of all the times Castiel had worn his vessel like an ill-fitting jacket. 

‘That so?’ Gabriel said pleasantly. ‘He could never quite get it up for you, is that it?’

‘Go _screw yourself_ , Gabriel,’ Dean growled.

‘You demand a lot,’ Gabriel remarked with just the slightest hint of a tease in his tone. ‘His grace doesn’t burn as hot as mine. I’m an archangel after all.’ Gabriel loosened his grip on his jacket and stretched out his legs a little. ‘I could do with a muffin and a hot chocolate.’

‘We’ll get to a gas station.’

A few minutes later, Dean was filling up the Impala’s gas tank, and Gabriel was leaning against a pillar, sipping his drink and looking up at the sky. Dean found himself subconsciously watching him. The early morning light shone off the dirty-blonde of Gabriel’s hair, and for a moment, it looked like a halo. Did angels actually have halos? He never got around to asking that. Before their re-acquaintance at Lisa’s, Dean had never imagined that a serious Gabriel would be one he had to deal with the most and – he kind of didn’t like it. It wasn’t _Gabriel_.

So maybe he didn’t hate Gabriel. Maybe he just missed the guy with the quirky (albeit fatal) sense of humour, who liked sex and candy and instinctively understood Dean as well as Dean understood him.

‘What time is it?’ Gabriel asked, and Dean roused himself from his reverie, flushing mildly at his thoughts.

‘Eight thirty,’ he said, glancing at the screen of his mobile phone.

‘Wow. It’s been a long time since I’ve been up and about so early. The fresh air is nice.’ And a look of contentment settled on his features. For the briefest of moments, Dean wanted to hit him, wipe the look off his face because nobody had the right to look that way, to _feel_ that way around Dean. Then he smothered the emotion and jerked his head in the direction of the car. ‘Let’s get going.’

‘Okay.’ Gabriel slid into the passenger side of the car. Once they were on the road, he said, ‘You know, I was the one who got most of the head gods their chief weapons.’

‘Dude, the only thing I know about Norse gods is the shit I learned when there was a village that kept sacrificing young couples to a Vanir to keep their town apple-pie so I have no idea what you’re talking about.’

‘Yes you do,’ Gabriel said with exaggerated impatience. ‘At least, you know about Thor’s hammer.’

‘Oh right, that guy’s famous.’

‘Yeah, the hammer’s name is Mjolnir. And in all of the pictures of Odin, he’s usually holding a spear, and it’s called Gungnir. Frey, the chief of the Vanir, has a boat called Skidbladnir, which will sail anywhere and can be folded up into a pocket. Well, I was the direct cause of getting the boat and the spear. The hammer was kind of a side effect. See, I was friends with the dwarves in Svartalheim, since I’m just the sweetest guy ever because nobody else wanted to be friends with them.’

‘Why?’

‘I told you, the Aesir are racist. Sure they’re a little mean sometimes, but that’s only because Odin wouldn’t give them any land except underground. He mostly hates them because they like gold, and he likes gold, and also because they’re ugly.’

‘The Vanir we met, it was pretty ugly too.’

Gabriel snickered. ‘That wouldn’t be his true form. They wouldn’t be able to manifest themselves fully without flocks of people sacrificing to them like they used to in the old days. You think _I’m_ cruel, you should see what those humans could come up with.’

There was a pregnant pause.

‘What?!’ Dean said incredulously.

‘Nothing.’ Gabriel laughed. ‘I was just wondering if I should tell you, but thinking about it made this muffin feel bad in my stomach, so I’ll save it.’

‘It was that bad?’

‘Like you wouldn’t believe. Why do you think all kinds of monsters come from humans? Humans are messed up to the core and can come up with ideas us natural-born supernatural creatures could never even dream of.’

‘Thanks.’

‘It’s nothing. Anyway, so the dwarves gave me the spear and the boat as a present, and since _I_ didn’t have any use for them, I gave them to Odin and Frey. I told them to say thanks to the nice dwarves who made it for them, and all of a sudden, this dwarf named Brock got furious and said his brother Sindri could make better stuff. Swear to my Father I don’t know what _that_ was about, and Brock bet that if Sindri could make better things, he’d get to cut off my head.’

‘And you _agreed_?!’

‘We wanted to see what they’d come up with! Besides, what do you think even happens when you cut off an angel’s head? The answer is nothing. You can’t cut off an angel’s head. So he left, and a few days later, he came back with a golden pig that could fly – don’t ask me what its use is other than looking pretty, I have no idea – a gold ring called Draupnir, which drops eight identical rings every day, and Mjolnir, Thor’s hammer.’

‘So he won?’

‘Yeah. Bullshit, I know. I give them a portable ship and a spear that will hit anything it aims at, he gives them a shiny pig, a ring, and a lousy hammer only Thor can carry and everyone’s like “Aw man Loki’s such a fraud, look at this shiny-ass stuff Brock brought!” But I couldn’t let them suspect I was anything more than a god, so when Brock was about to cut off my head –‘ He broke off, laughing.

‘What? What did you do!?’

‘Nothing special,’ Gabriel chuckled. ‘I just can’t believe they fell for it. I told Brock that whatever he did, he had to be careful not to touch my neck because I only promised him my head. So he couldn’t cut off my head.’

If Dean could, he would have looked around to give Gabriel a disbelieving look even as he laughed. ‘What the fuck?’

‘Like I said, it was the beginning of time. They get a pass for being stupid. It was pretty smart for the day.’

‘So what did the guy – Brock – what did he do?’

‘He sewed my lips shut.’

‘Oh.’ Dean chanced a glance at his companion, and Gabriel was no longer smiling mirthfully. Instead, it was a steely, bitter smirk. ‘Did it hurt?’

‘Oh yeah. It hurt a lot. The dwarves have a gift for creating things out of attributes, and he used the crying of birds to make the thread. The stitches didn’t dissolve for a month, and every time I forgot about them and tried to open my mouth, it was like –‘ He didn’t seem to be able to find the word, and fell quiet.

‘Sorry,’ Dean said without actually thinking about it.

‘It’s nothing,’ Gabriel said, his voice surprised and suddenly relaxed. ‘It’s in the past. At least I didn’t die. I don’t know anything more painful than dying.’

‘No argument there,’ Dean said, and they both laughed again. What an absurd thing to agree about.

‘I gotta tell you, Dean,’ Gabriel said, leaning against the door to face him, ‘it’s been a while since I’ve had company for so long. I’m a god of chaos, but we tricksters are mostly introverts. Still, I like being with you.’

‘Woah, easy on the flirting there, I’m straight.’ 

‘And I’m not a guy,’ Gabriel snorted.

‘Yeah okay, but sex with an angel in a male vessel is still sex with a guy.’

‘Is that a homophobic tendency I hear?’

‘Just because I’m straight doesn’t mean I’m homophobic!’

‘How can you claim to be straight, anyway? What’s Dr. Sexy?’

‘Th-that’s -!’

‘Alright, don’t get your panties in a twist, I believe you,’ Gabriel said airily, and Dean passed him a half-hearted glare, filled with more amusement than spite. Gabriel beamed back.

-

‘Hey.’ Dean reached out with one hand to shake Gabriel awake. ‘Wake up, we’re here.’

Gabriel blinked awake. ‘Gimme a sec,’ he yawned.

Dean picked a road at random and drove around, drumming his fingers on the wheel in suspense as Gabriel rubbed his eyes and ran a hand through his mussed hair. When Gabriel shifted and sat up straight, Dean asked ‘So?’

‘Something’s wrong,’ Gabriel said uneasily. ‘Can we – let’s go to that diner Sam was spotted at and confirm he was here.’

‘You can’t sense his presence?’ Dean said, beginning to dread.

‘Let’s just go to the place and find out if he really was here,’ Gabriel said shortly, then pursed his lips and said nothing more. Dean was surprised when they got there and Gabriel promptly took charge, snapping open the dashboard, taking out one of Sam’s old FBI IDs and marching into the diner without waiting for Dean. Dean hurriedly turned off the engine and followed him, feeling slightly miffed. By the time he got inside, Gabriel was already talking to a waitress, who flirted and nodded and told him that Sam had dropped by only the day before.

‘Was he with anyone?’ Gabriel asked. Despite his previous agitation, he was relaxed now, and charmingly professional.

‘Oh, a woman. She had dark hair, looked tiny compared to him, brown eyes. She said they were going out of state, but didn’t mention where.’

‘Thank you,’ Gabriel said in a way that made her titter, and then he sat down at a table in a far corner and Dean plopped himself down on the seat opposite.

‘What’s wrong?’ he said urgently.

‘I don’t know,’ Gabriel sighed, slumping in his seat. ‘I mean, maybe I know, there are a dozen possible explanations –‘

‘Just cut to the chase,’ Dean snapped.

‘I can’t because I don’t know what it is!’ Gabriel barked back. ‘It could be anything, but – but – we’d need the angels who pulled him out to make sure, and even _they_ might not know. If I was stronger – if we could figure out who the person with him was, we might know.’

‘Would that be hard?’ Dean asked fearfully.

‘Yes. Who’s even going to admit it? First of all –‘ Gabriel hesitated, and looked up into Dean’s fiercely blazing eyes. Whatever he found there seemed to push him on, and he continued, ‘they’d have to have connections to a high-ranking demon to get close to the Pit and pull a body out.’

Dean inhaled sharply. ‘Shit.’

‘Yep. So you can see why no one’s going to put up their hand if I asked who did it.’

‘Maybe we could get Cas to ask around?’ Dean offered tentatively.

‘Maybe, if he weren’t busy being all high and mighty and ignoring his superior,’ Gabriel said coldly.

‘You’ve been praying to him too?’ Dean said with surprise, then cursed internally that he’d let that slip.

‘Angels don’t pray to each other,’ Gabriel said, a slight smile alighting on his lips. ‘But I tried to order him down here. He didn’t answer.’

‘Is he allowed to do that?’

‘Nope, but he probably knows I won’t kick his ass once I get to him anyway.’

‘You won’t?’ Dean said sceptically.

‘He can consider it my thank-you for keeping you safe this whole time.’

Dean felt deeply embarrassed, although he wasn’t completely sure why. ‘Right. So uh, what do you think it might be?’

‘Might be a concealment rune or sigil, though a very powerful creature would have to have cast it. Either a god, a witch who’s been around since almost the beginning of time, or a high-ranking angel. Or maybe he wasn’t here at all and we’re chasing down Sam’s doppelganger. Or maybe – though – well it’s the likeliest explanation –‘ Gabriel became disquiet again, tapping his foot on the floor and drumming his fingers on the table.

‘What?’ Dean said, beginning to feel scared again. ‘And don’t you dare say it’s nothing!’ he added fiercely when Gabriel opened his mouth.

‘Fine, if you want to be as scared shitless as I am,’ Gabriel said frostily. ‘It’s a possibility that, because Sam was so deep inside Hell, his soul didn’t escape with him.’

‘ _What_?!’ said Dean so loudly, several other customers turned around and stared.

‘Yeah. It would explain things like “why didn’t he tell you that he got out?” It’s because his body wouldn’t see the need to, as opposed to his soul. And souls leave imprints wherever they go, which would explain why I haven’t been able to detect him. Even if he _was_ warded, it would leave a trace, and I can’t pick up anything very magic around here.’

‘Why the fuck would somebody take Sam out and forget his soul?!’

‘Could have been an accident. Or maybe someone needed him for something and learnt from the time Castiel took _you_ out. Without his soul, Sam wouldn’t care about helping anyone with whatever plot they had in mind as long as he could benefit from it too.’

‘N-no.’ Dean was staggered. ‘That can’t – that’s not –‘

‘But it’s only a possibility,’ Gabriel said quickly, as if to reassure Dean. ‘That might not be it. There might be something I haven’t thought of.’

Dean nodded vigorously, desperate to hold onto hope. ‘Yeah, okay.’

‘Will you go get us a motel? I’m going to go look for leylines and call on a few other angels and see if they have any information.’ 

‘Okay.’ Dean took a deep breath. ‘Okay, I’ll do that. See you then.’

‘Yeah.’ Gabriel smiled, and Dean felt just a bit better. ‘See you.’ He pushed himself to a standing position and left.

\- 

In the morning, Dean woke up to find Gabriel in the bed next to his, sleeping peacefully. He had the covers wrapped tight around his figure, curled up to keep himself warm. For a moment, Dean found himself just watching Gabriel breathe.

He had showered and gone out for breakfast before Gabriel woke up enough to mutter ‘I fucking hate being human.’

‘Welcome to the club,’ Dean said. ‘Go and shower – or at least brush your teeth. I brought breakfast.’

‘Bless you, you’re an angel.’

‘Shut the fuck up,’ Dean said, but he was grinning.

When Gabriel had changed into fresh clothes, he dragged himself to the table and took a sip from the cup Dean had bought for him, then promptly spit it out.

‘Dude!’ Dean yelped, jumping up and backwards from his chair.

‘Is that coffee?!’ Gabriel demanded. ‘That’s disgusting!’

‘It’s supposed to help you wake up in the morning!’

‘Bullshit! Just get me hot chocolate, that’ll work just fine!’

‘Well excuse me, Your Royal Highness, I’ll make sure to keep that in mind next time!’

Gabriel glared. ‘You’re going to want to speak to me with more respect if you want to find your brother!’

‘Oh yeah?’

‘Yeah!’ But then Gabriel burst into laughter. ‘Idiot. You’re adorable when you’re mad.’

‘ _Fuck you_ ,’ Dean said with a blush.

‘Please, Dean. You can’t deny you have delicate features and princess eyes.’

‘God, there are so many things wrong with you,’ Dean said exasperatedly. ‘Are you or are you not going to tell me what you did yesterday?’

‘I will as soon as I get my daily hit of hot chocolate,’ Gabriel grumbled, standing up. ‘C’mon.’

They both went to a coffee shop at the street corner where Gabriel ordered a hot chocolate with whipped cream, then made noises over it that made Dean deeply uncomfortable.

‘Will you stop that?’ Dean muttered, squirming in his seat.

‘Stop what?’

Dean grit his teeth and said nothing, but Gabriel didn’t moan over the chocolate anymore, so he counted it a win.

‘ _Now_ will you tell me what you did yesterday?’

‘Oh yeah, sure. It took a lot of work, but long story cut short, I found out what’s happening up there, and who brought Sam out of the Pit. You’re – you’re not going to like it,’ Gabriel said apprehensively.

‘It was Cas, wasn’t it?’ Dean said, slumping back in his chair, placing a hand over his eyes.

‘Yeah. I’m sorry.’

‘Son of a bitch.’ Dean was shaking, he was so furious. ‘And he’s working with a demon, huh? Know who it is?’

‘Um ...’

‘Out with it.’

‘Er, I was told Crowley’s the king of Hell right now. So it’s probably him.’

‘Crowley. Motherfucking Crowley.’

Gabriel’s hand found Dean’s wrist and squeezed it gently. Dean wanted to shake him off, but it was such a comforting gesture, he couldn’t bring himself to.

‘Do you –‘ Dean swallowed and tried again. ‘Do you know why?’

‘Not really. None of the angels I called seem to know.’

Dean chewed his lip before lowering his hand, wetting his lips, and saying ‘Gabriel, would Cas leave Sam’s soul in there on purpose?’

‘No!’ Gabriel said with such conviction, Dean felt reassured. ‘I know Castiel – or at least, I did when he was just created, and he wouldn’t have. Especially since Sam’s his friend and your brother. It would have been an accident. And if Crowley had noticed, he wouldn’t have cared.’

‘If it really is his soul, is there a way to take it back for him?’

‘Of course. But –‘ Gabriel hesitated again. This time, Dean waited for him to speak without prompting him. ‘But even if Sam’s soul has only been in there for one day, it would scar him forever. He’s stuck in there with a very frustrated Michael and Lucifer, and the strain of putting a soul so frayed back into its body might kill him. But it’s just a possibility, remember, we don’t know for sure yet,’ Gabriel added, but this didn’t renew hope in Dean. Instead, he felt scared.

‘Gabriel –‘

‘We’ll find him, Dean. I promise.’ Gabriel traced circles around Dean’s pulse, and maybe it was Gabriel’s returning magic, but Dean began to relax ever so slightly. ‘Then we’ll fix whatever’s wrong with him. Right now, we just have to keep searching, keep an eye out for him and any demons we might be able to interrogate.’

‘Okay.’ Dean couldn’t remember the last time he’d let someone take the reins for him like this, but it felt good to let Gabriel formulate the plan. ‘Maybe we can ask around to see if anyone’s seen where he was headed.’

‘Yes, let’s.’ Gabriel released Dean’s hand. Dean missed the pressure, but he dismissed the thought quickly. ‘We’ll ask the diner from yesterday if they saw what vehicle he went in.’

So they went. Somebody had seen Sam climb into a van, but couldn’t give the license plate number, causing Dean to swear so vehemently at the poor cashier, that Gabriel had to steer him out and calm him down by yelling at him in turn. Without any more leads, Gabriel led them both back to the motel, told Dean to pack, but not set off without him, then disappeared for another two hours. During this time, Dean watched a documentary about abandoned castles around the world. 

‘I’ve found out which direction he went in,’ Gabriel announced when he came back, startling Dean into spilling the glass of water he had down his front.

‘How the hell did you do that?’

‘Flew to every gas station within ten miles surrounding the state and asked.’

‘Are – are you serious?’

‘Yeah! Now come on, before the trail gets cold again!’

For a moment, Dean felt the strong urge to kiss Gabriel. ‘You’re awesome,’ he said instead.

‘Oh, baby,’ Gabriel beamed. ‘For you, I’d do anything.’

Dean punched his arm playfully. ‘Shut up.’

‘No, _you_.’

-

Once it started to look like they were losing Sam again, Gabriel scoured the newspapers and pointed out a couple of stories that were definitely hunts in the general direction they were driving that Sam might have gone after. Dean chose the nearest one and drove in that direction, but it was clear that the trail was getting stone cold, and he was very grumpy. He tried to call Lisa while he was driving, but she was distant and sounded harassed, so he hung up, ready to lash out at the next person who tried to talk to him. This person would undoubtedly be Gabriel, but when Dean looked over at him, he found he didn’t have the heart to. Gabriel looked as miserable as he was.

After several hours of driving into the night, Dean finally asked out of curiosity, ‘What’s wrong with _you_?’

‘What’s wrong with me?’ Gabriel said defensively.

‘Why are you acting like such a bitch?’

‘Me? A bitch? Please, I always top.’

Dean felt his face grow scarlet. He mentally shook himself. Why had he been acting so sensitive to Gabriel lately?

When it became apparent that Dean was not about to answer any time soon, Gabriel said ‘I’m just worried about Sam.’

‘ _You’re_ worried about Sam?’

‘ _Of course_ I am.’

‘Well excuse me if I find that a bit hard to believe after you repeatedly traumatised him,’ Dean retorted.

‘I only did that because I was worried about him then, too,’ Gabriel said impatiently. ‘Don’t think I did it out of spite.’

It was probably proof of how just long they’d been travelling together, but Dean _did_ believe that explanation. Gabriel was odd, but his motivations weren’t. At least, that was how Dean saw it.

‘Right. Well. Thanks.’

‘Why are you thanking me?’ Gabriel asked with a laugh. ‘It’s not an effort to care about the Winchester clan.’

‘I thought you only cared about us as Michael’s and Lucifer’s vessels,’ Dean said, and immediately wished he hadn’t. He wished so even more when Gabriel scowled. 

‘If you like it that way,’ Gabriel said coolly.

‘No!’ Dean blurted out, but Gabriel remained impassive. ‘I mean – it’s not –‘ He gulped and mentally berated himself for being stupid. ‘I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean it. I’m just used to you being on the other side.’

‘I was never on the other side,’ Gabriel said with a begrudging laugh. ‘But apology accepted.’

Dean wanted to argue, and point out the time Gabriel had trapped him and Sam in TV-land so that they would say ‘yes’ to Michael and Lucifer, but decided to let it slide. They’d been under enough pressure without another argument to add to it.

They found a motel room and settled in for the night. At 5 am, Dean was abruptly woken by an incessant knocking on the door.

‘Gabe, go get it,’ Dean groaned into his pillow.

‘Are you _grateful_ that you have a nice face that compels people to do as you say?’ Gabriel shot back.

Feeling humiliated, Dean sat up to give him a piece of his mind, but Gabriel was already switching on the light and opening the door. The light disoriented Dean for a moment, and when he blinked vision back into his eyes, he nearly jumped off the bed in shock. Gabriel was standing at the door with a frown, talking to a young woman; but it wasn’t a woman, just a supernatural creature that looked feminine. One half of her face was perfectly fine – brown eye, chestnut hair, pink lips – but the other half looked like a rotting corpse. What little hair there was on that side was shrivelled and black, the eye sunk in its socket, and pale, emaciated skin. She and Gabriel were conversing in a language Dean couldn’t understand.

It was a short conversation, but it left Gabriel looking more depressed than Dean had seen him in the months the archangel had spent with him. At the end, Gabriel hugged her and kissed her forehead, and then she kissed his cheek and left.

‘What was that?’ Dean asked somewhat anxiously.

‘She,’ Gabriel corrected, equally on edge, ‘is Hela, the guardian of Hell.’

‘What did she want?’

‘She didn’t want anything. I was the one who asked for something from her.’ Gabriel let out a long, deep sigh, walked back to his bed, and threw himself onto the covers wretchedly. ‘I’m sorry your life sucks so much, Dean.’

‘Uh, thanks?’

After a while of silence, Dean said with irritation, ‘So what did you ask from her?’

Gabriel raised his head to smile wanly at Dean. ‘It’s nothing that’s your problem, Dean.’

‘Didn’t you just apologise for my suckish life?’ Dean asked pointedly.

‘Just because it’s a problem that involves you doesn’t mean it’s a problem _you_ need to solve.’ Gabriel lay down again another exhale so soft, Dean would not have caught it if not for the silence of the night. ‘Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it.’

‘Are – you sure?’ Dean said hesitatingly, doubting as to whether or not he should trust Gabriel.

‘I’m positive,’ Gabriel said. His voice had gone gentle and sleepy, but something told Dean he wasn’t actually falling asleep. But, Dean decided, it was too early to worry about such things anyway, so he turned over and slipped into unconsciousness again.

To his mortification, he woke up late the next morning. Gabriel was sitting at the table of the room with a newspaper spread out in front of him, cup of hot chocolate in one hand, a pen in the other. When pushed back the covers and sat up, Gabriel looked over, smiled, and said ‘Good morning, sunshine.’

‘Don’t call me that,’ Dean said sulkily.

‘Well you called me “Gabe” last night, so I thought we’d reached the nicknaming stage of our friendship,’ Gabriel said innocently.

It took Dean several seconds to understand what Gabriel was talking about, and then he declared, ‘Shortened names and terms of endearments are completely different things.’

‘Not really. You see, I don’t normally let people shorten my name.’

‘Fine, then I won’t,’ Dean said gruffly, hurt that a simple nickname could cause such a fuss in Gabriel.

‘That’s not what I’m saying,’ Gabriel said. ‘I don’t mind when _you_ do it.’

‘Right.’ Feeling embarrassed, but also quite pleased, Dean said ‘But you’ll have to find a better nickname for me than “sunshine”.’

‘Well you didn’t object to “baby” the other day,’ Gabriel said, then laughed when Dean threw his pillow at him. ‘Ben called just now,’ he added, tossing it back, ‘and he said Lisa wants to talk to you.’

‘I’ll call her at lunch,’ Dean promised, and went to take a shower. They had what Gabriel called a ‘brunch’, and left for the hunt they suspected (read: hoped) Sam was after. They stopped in another nice town for lunch, buying sandwiches at a café all the locals recommended. After some badgering, Dean finally consented to them eating at a park instead of the car. It felt almost like a date, sitting side by side on the park bench, but Dean stopped himself from saying anything. Gabriel looked like he was enjoying himself too much.

But Dean’s good mood quickly dissipated when he called Lisa. After the call, he turned sour and moody, and Gabriel was afraid to approach him. In the evening they arrived at the town and failed to find anything relevant except a ghost, and Gabriel cut his shoulder trying to salt and burn it. He claimed he still didn’t understand bandages so Dean bound the wound himself, pulling a little tighter on the bandage than was strictly necessary. Then Dean stalked off to a bar.

Gabriel didn’t dare follow, and wouldn’t have if he wanted to anyway. He felt Dean needed his space. But when Dean came back at one am, he made it obvious that he didn’t feel quite the same way by coming over to Gabriel’s bed and kissing him suddenly.

It was half a minute before Gabriel could recover his senses enough to push Dean back. He underestimated the difference in strength, and Dean fell backwards on the floor, looking deeply dejected.

‘I didn’t even know you were capable of getting drunk anymore,’ Gabriel said, going for snarky smooth-talking instead of flustered damsel.

‘I’m not that drunk,’ Dean groused. ‘I’ve been meaning to kiss you for ages.’

‘No you haven’t,’ Gabriel said firmly. ‘Besides, you’re with Lisa.’

‘She broke up with me this afternoon.’

‘Oh.’

‘But you already knew that.’

‘N-not really. I wasn’t listening.’

‘I know you weren’t. You’re too good for that.’

‘Go to bed, Dean!’ Gabriel said forcefully.

‘ _You’re_ the one who said I have a nice face that compels people to do as I say.’

‘Yeah, but you’ll regret sleeping with me.’ Gabriel lay Dean down on his bed, taking off his shoes and placing the covers over him. ‘If you still like me so much in the morning, I’ll be here.’

‘So you do want to sleep with me,’ Dean said brightly.

‘Shh. Sleep.’

‘Whatever.’ But Dean obediently shut his eyes, and in a few minutes, Gabriel could ascertain he was asleep. Then, feeling slightly perturbed at the conversation he just had, he curled up underneath his own covers.

In the morning, Dean had a mild hangover, and he woke up wishing it was much, much worse. Because for one, it meant that he could remember with (almost) full clarity what had transpired last night; secondly because it meant that he hadn’t actually drunk enough to lower his standards way, _way_ down last night.

‘Fuck,’ he said. And then he promptly lay down again to calm his spinning head.

He must have fallen asleep again, because he didn’t realise it when Gabriel woke up. He was only conscious of Gabriel’s voice saying cheerfully ‘Bacon and egg breakfast sandwich and a glass of water for the hangover.’ 

‘Couldn’t you have just got me some meds?’ Dean groaned.

‘Nope. Natural cures are the trick. Now get up. We’re losing Sam.’

‘What’s the point?’ Dean said irritably as he sat up. ‘We don’t even know what direction he went in.’

‘No, but that doesn’t mean we can’t keep trying. Now eat this.’ Gabriel put the sandwich on Dean’s knee, then sat down beside him on the edge of the bed. ‘Is it very bad?’

‘No. Go away.’

Gabriel shrugged. ‘I’ll pack the car.’ He got up and left Dean to wallow in his own misery.

‘Sorry about Lisa,’ Gabriel said once Dean slid behind the wheel, confirming that Dean had not, in fact, dreamed up last night.

‘We’re not going to talk about it, are we?’ Dean said testily.

‘You probably don’t know this, but talking about your problems can actually lead you to becoming more depressed about them,’ Gabriel said solemnly. ‘So no.’

Dean glanced over at Gabriel, and Gabriel answered with a raised eyebrow when he noticed. Gabriel looked so blameless, as if he had no idea how much it meant to Dean to have someone finally understand how he didn’t like to talk about himself, that it made Dean laugh. So he took Gabriel’s face in his hands and kissed him, very briefly, something that was little more than a meeting of lips and mingling of breath.

‘Thanks,’ Dean said, drawing away.

‘You didn’t have a shot while I was gone, did you?’ Gabriel said suspiciously.

‘No,’ Dean said, rolling his eyes in exasperation.

‘Ah. In that case –‘ Gabriel smiled, a smile that lit up all his best features, ‘- you’re welcome.’

‘Right,’ Dean mumbled, averting his gaze. ‘Glad we cleared that up.’ He swallowed nervously. ‘Let’s get going then.’

‘Okay.’ Gabriel stretched, the tips of his fingers brushing along Dean’s shoulder. ‘Stay put Sam, we’re coming.’

-

They didn’t find Sam, of course, and Dean’s mood turned bitter as the day crept towards evening. Yet, Gabriel was still so energetic and keen, occasionally disappearing out of the car to scout around and ask people if they’d seen him, that Dean couldn’t really bring himself to share the burden of his annoyance. Besides, their relationship had taken a big step earlier that day, and no matter how much he would refuse to admit it, he didn’t want to spoil that.

They ate at a rundown little restaurant that had clearly seen better days, but the food was good and the ambience pleasant, so Dean was comfortable enough to relax a little. Gabriel played footsie with him all throughout dinner and joked and laughed as if trying to make Dean laugh along. He did, eventually, but less because Gabriel was actually being funny, and more out of a sense of affection for the angel.

Then Dean drove to a secluded parking lot and told Gabriel they were sleeping there for the night.

‘Without blankets again,’ Gabriel groused.

‘I’ve been doing this for thirty years,’ Dean yawned uninterestedly. ‘I’m still alive.’

‘But a very unhealthy individual,’ Gabriel snorted. ‘Shouldn’t we change my bandage?’

‘We don’t have any water,’ Dean sighed, sitting up straight.

‘We have a couple of bottles of water,’ Gabriel said pointedly.

‘Yeah, yeah, okay. Outside, c’mon.’ 

Gabriel leaned against the door of the Impala and Dean came over to wash the wound. He did so very gently, and without words, leaving Gabriel contentedly basking in the attention.

‘I think I tied it too tight last night,’ Dean muttered, clearly embarrassed. ‘See? It hasn’t had space to breathe.’

‘That’s not a _very_ bad thing, is it?’ Gabriel said anxiously.

‘No, I’ll make sure it won’t happen again.’ Dean began wrapping fresh bandages around Gabriel’s arm. ‘But that’s why you should do it yourself,’ he added.

‘I _told_ you, I don’t know how,’ Gabriel said grumpily. ‘I can’t wrap bandages around my own arm.’

‘Sam and I can,’ Dean said, although it sounded more like a casual remark than a retort. ‘You’ll get it if you try it yourself.’

‘Hey, I’m still getting used to having a centre of gravity instead of keeping myself up with magic, okay? Leave me alone to coordinate.’

‘You’re a big baby,’ Dean countered. Then he bent down and stole a very quick kiss before getting back into the car.

It was half a moment before Gabriel joined him again, blushing as if they’d been grinding against each other on the car instead of sharing a chaste kiss. Dean was surprised; he didn’t think it could have had such a profound effect on Gabriel, especially considering the sexual conquests he so often boasted of.

‘Goodnight,’ Dean said rather awkwardly.

‘Night,’ Gabriel said.

Dean crossed his arms and closed his eyes. Gabriel slid over to press their sides together, and Dean had to bite his lip to stop himself from smiling. It was easy to sleep with such a soothing weight next to him.

When he woke up at six am, he was alarmed to discover that Gabriel was no longer next to him. He calmed himself down with the thought that Gabriel had probably just gone for a breath of fresh air, or maybe even to look for breakfast. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, and came to the realisation that Gabriel was sitting on the hood of the car, talking on the phone. Feeling curious, Dean rolled down the window and poked his head out to listen in.

‘... her decision, and it’s between her and Dean,’ Gabriel was saying. Dean knit his eyebrows. Was Gabriel talking to Ben?

‘Yeah, I know, kid,’ Gabriel sighed after listening for half a minute. ‘But Dean’s not really your dad, and I’m not really your crazy uncle.’ Yeah, that was definitely Ben. He was upset that Dean and Lisa had broken up, and ... had called Gabriel? Dean was really underestimating how close those two were, and felt suitably ashamed of himself.

‘It doesn’t mean we’re not _here_ anymore,’ Gabriel said, the slightest note of impatience in his voice. ‘You can still call us, and when we find Sam, we’ll visit you and bring you to Disneyland.’

Dean nearly had a heart attack. Exactly _whose_ fucking money would they use to go to Disneyland?

‘Okay. Try and get some more sleep, you’ll feel better later in the day.’ Dean hurriedly ducked back into the car, but not before catching the words ‘Take care of Dean? _Dean_ takes care of _me_.’

Gabriel hung up and put his phone back in his pocket, but he remained on the car, looking up at the lightening morning sky. Dean couldn’t see his facial expression, couldn’t even guess what he was thinking about. Perhaps he was feeling guilty about entering into a relationship with Dean so soon after Dean’s break-up with Lisa? Shit, that was probably it.

‘Good morning,’ Gabriel said, re-entering the car. Dean had put on Deep Purple and was trying to nonchalantly drum along to the beat on the steering wheel despite the conversation that lingered on the back of his mind.

‘Hey,’ he said.

‘Let’s go out for breakfast?’

‘Yeah.’ Dean turned on the engine and drove off. Gabriel was agitated, and there was an odd tension in the air that put Dean on edge too; it seemed to confirm his suspicions about Gabriel’s thoughts.

‘Are you okay, Dean?’ Gabriel asked in a kindly tone.

‘’m fine,’ Dean answered gruffly. Then he felt obliged to say ‘How about you?’

‘I’m ... okay,’ Gabriel said reluctantly. ‘Just ... um ...’

‘What?’ Dean said with a heavily beating heart.. He didn’t really want to hear Gabriel’s next words.

‘I’m just thinking ... I know we’re not really ... sleeping together or anything yet, and even if we _were_ I know it’s probably just sex, but uh, we should probably take it slow. You’re just getting over Lisa –‘

‘I get it,’ Dean said abruptly. Gabriel nodded and looked relieved. Dean felt hurt, and turned up the volume of the radio.

-

Three days later, Dean still couldn’t speak to Gabriel without his speech sounding short and distant. In return, Gabriel hadn’t attempted a conversation that was about anything other than Sam’s whereabouts. Gabriel’s presence had come to mean loneliness and irritation instead of friendship. Dean hadn’t even _realised_ that Gabriel had come to mean so much to him until Gabriel stopped providing it, and it nettled him all the more.

On the fourth day, Dean was sitting in the motel room, staring morosely into space when a dark haired man appeared in the room and startled him out of his thoughts.

‘Who the fuck are you?!’ Dean yelled, taking out his gun and aiming.

‘Calm down, I’m not here to hurt you,’ he said in a soft, sibilant voice. Something about the way he loped through the room and approached Dean reminded Dean of a snake. ‘I’m looking for Loki.’

‘Gabriel?’ Dean said with surprise. Yet, who else would a supernatural creature be looking for?

‘Yes, that’s his true name. Where is he?’

‘He went out for lunch,’ Dean said, jerking his head in the direction of the door. His gun was still raised. ‘He should be back any minute.’

‘Alright,’ the man nodded. ‘May I wait for him?’

‘What do you want with him?’ Dean asked suspiciously.

‘I have information for him,’ was the frosty reply. ‘Perhaps my name will put you at ease. I am Jörmungandr.’

‘Right. I have no idea who that is.’

‘Do you know nothing about your companion?’ Jörmungandr said with raised eyebrows. ‘Has he not told you of me? But you must have met my sister, Hela.’

It was a couple of seconds before Dean could remember who that was. ‘The half-dead corpse who takes care of Hell?’

‘Watch what you call the most honourable of women,’ Jörmungandr hissed threateningly. 

‘Okay, okay.’ Dean held the gun on the palm of his hand, finger off the trigger. ‘Gabriel trusts her, so I guess I’ll trust you. Just don’t move too much.’

‘Moving isn’t my forte anyway,’ Jörmungandr said, and he sat on the edge of one of the beds, limbs drawn tightly together.

That was the scene that Gabriel came back to. Dean sitting nervously on his seat, and Jörmungandr in deep meditation on the bed. Dean was visibly glad for Gabriel’s return.

‘Jörmungandr?’ Gabriel said, and Dean was immediately pissed at Gabriel again. It was like he wasn’t even in the same _room_!

Jörmungandr quickly jumped up and hugged Gabriel the way an attached child hugs a parent when they become adults – like they don’t realise that they’ve grown taller. Then he spoke in a foreign language to him, probably the same as the one Gabriel had used with Hela. As he spoke, Gabriel’s eyes lit up, and Dean felt a strange solace from it. Finally, Jörmungandr left with a kiss on the temple from Gabriel, and Gabriel turned to Dean.

‘C’mon, let’s go now!’ he said excitedly.

‘Go where?’ said Dean uncertainly as he stood up.

‘After Sam! Jörmungandr’s been doing me a huge favour by sneaking around and he’s found out where Sam is right now, so let’s go! Now!’

‘Okay, okay,’ Dean said hastily, rushing around to pack up his things. Gabriel helped, picking up a shirt and going into the bathroom to pick up Dean’s toothbrush and toothpaste. It was a strange feeling to have a cheerful Gabriel with him again.

‘Why the good mood?’ Dean said once they were on the road again.

‘We have another tip on Sam, and a reliable one too,’ Gabriel said serenely. ‘If we find him soon, I might finally be rid of your company.’

Dean was deeply wounded, setting his teeth in frustration.

‘Oh, _Dean_ ,’ Gabriel said exasperatedly, nudging him. ‘I was just kidding. I love travelling with you.’

‘Fuck you,’ Dean said, nudging him back, although feeling considerably lighter.

‘After you haven’t even _talked_ to me in four days? No way!’

‘Whose fault was that?! Not mine!’

‘ _You’re_ the one who got all touchy because I don’t want to be your freaky-rebound-thing!’

‘My _what_?! What the hell are you talking about?!’

‘As if you don’t know!’

Okay, he _did_ know. Of course he did. But –

‘I can’t believe you think that’s what you are to me,’ Dean scowled.

‘Well if you were in my shoes, you’d think the same thing,’ Gabriel fired back.

So now Dean couldn’t believe that he hadn’t thought of that.

‘Sorry, then,’ he mumbled.

‘It’s okay,’ Gabriel sighed. ‘It shouldn’t matter all that much to me.’

It hit Dean like a stack of bricks. Gabriel _wanted_ them to mean something, to be more than just sex, and it made Dean feel simultaneously furious and elated. He pulled over, and before Gabriel could ask what he was doing, took Gabriel’s face in his hands and kissed him fiercely. Gabriel was slow to respond, taken aback as he was, but eventually put his hands around Dean and tentatively kissed back.

‘I can’t believe you’re such a fucking idiot,’ Dean growled when they broke away. ‘I can’t believe you’re such an idiot for _me_.’

Gabriel blushed, the best damn thing Dean had seen all day.

‘What can I say, you’re a natural charmer,’ he muttered, his hands sliding off Dean’s back to be placed in his lap, where he stared at them in what was almost bewilderment.

‘Yeah, and you’re bad with your feelings,’ Dean said.

‘So are you.’

Dean laughed. He released Gabriel, and turned around to drive back onto the road. ‘Then it’s a good thing we understand each other,’ he said.

‘Yeah.’ This time, Gabriel’s huff of breath was soft and contented. ‘It is.’

-

‘What’s Asgard like now?’ Dean said.

‘An abandoned doghouse,’ Gabriel replied blandly. ‘It’s mostly women there now. Odin’s dead, Thor’s dead, Baldr’s dead, everybody’s just waiting for the end of time and they have no idea when that is. They used to think the Apocalypse would happen when Fenrir would kill Odin and Jörmungandr would kill Thor, and I’d be the one who instigated it all, blah, blah, blah. But then, maybe I did, in a way,’ he added pensively. ‘If I’d helped you guys from the beginning, Lucifer wouldn’t have come on them that day and killed them.’

‘Hey,’ Dean said sharply. ‘Whatever happened that day wasn’t your fault. Even if it was, you made up for it afterwards when you stood up for us, so shut up.’

‘Thanks, Dean.’ Gabriel smiled, but it was still so full of self-deprecation, that it continued to bug Dean. ‘Anyway, so the only people left are Heimdall, the keeper of the rainbow bridge to all the worlds; Hnossa is probably with him, she’s a big girl now; Frigga, Odin’s wife, and Freyja, her sister. Freyr’s dead too, so are Idunn and Sif, who killed herself after Thor died, and Sigyn, my wife. Or ex-wife. I’ve been gone a long time, so I guess that legally makes her a widow.’

‘Your wife?’ Dean said, once he had unstuck his throat enough to speak.

‘Yep. I was only married to her a short while, though. Once Odin found he couldn’t contain Hela and Jörmungandr and Fenrir, he banished me. So I took them with me, and Sleipnir too, of course. I wasn’t going to let them stay in the same world as that bastard,’ Gabriel finished quite aggressively.

‘I’m lost,’ Dean admitted meekly.

‘Sorry,’ Gabriel chuckled. ‘You remember the stuff about the Aesir against the Frost Giants, right?’

‘’Course.’

‘There was a time when I got sick of the bickering, so I went to Jotunheim and see if they were really all that bad. They were, in the same way that snakes are bad for poisoning their food. I felt sorry for them so I decided to hang around and uh, I kinda got involved with a Giantess.’

‘You really do get around,’ Dean couldn’t stop himself from saying.

‘Jealous?’ Gabriel grinned.

‘Maybe I am,’ Dean said, feeling rather bold for it.

‘Awww, Dean.’ Gabriel amicably bumped shoulders with him. ‘Don’t be. You’re the one for me now.’

Somehow laughing, Dean pushed him right back with his elbow. ‘Get on with the story.’

‘It’s not much of a story,’ Gabriel said, his smile fading fast. ‘It’s sad, so I’ll let you imagine that part. Her name was Angrboda, and we had kids.’

Dean had to push hard on the brakes to avoid swerving off the road in shock.

‘You _WHAT_?!’ he said, unnecessarily loudly.

‘Please don’t act so surprised,’ Gabriel said in a small voice filled with apprehension. ‘You can’t expect me to live down here for so many years without making some mistakes. I mean,’ his voice became stronger, ‘Angrboda was a mistake. My kids aren’t. I wouldn’t know what to do without them.’

‘They, uh,’ Dean began to inquire, moving the car again, ‘wouldn’t happen to be Hela and – and –‘ He tried and failed to twist his tongue around ‘Jörmungandr’.

‘Yeah, Jörmungandr, and they have one brother you haven’t met yet: Fenrir.’ Gabriel suddenly sounded tired. ‘Fenrir’s the eldest and Hela’s the youngest. It was Freya who found me in Jotunheim and asked me to come back to Asgard.’ He scratched the back of his neck and continued more slowly, choosing his words carefully. ‘Angrboda was dying, and we didn’t have any clue why. I took care of her until she died, and then I brought the kids back to Asgard with me. Sigyn helped me out then.’

‘So you guys fell in love and got married,’ Dean said, trying to make it sound like a question, but instead it fell flat and cold.

‘And then we had Vali and Narfi,’ Gabriel went on, clearly choosing to ignore Dean’s tone.

‘ _More_ kids?!’

‘But they were sentenced to death, because –‘ Gabriel’s voice was tight, and he seemed unable to say anymore. It was clearly a story that filled Gabriel with pain, yet here he was, telling it to Dean. Dean understood it for the gesture of trust that it was, and although it felt like an awkward move, Dean let go of the wheel with one hand to squeeze Gabriel’s. The angel started, but then he returned the pressure.

‘Their deaths were my fault,’ Gabriel said. ‘I was angry about Angrboda’s death and took it out on Odin’s people when I shouldn’t have. He punished my insolence by turning Narfi into a wolf and trapping him in a cave with Vali. Narfi killed Vali in wolfish rage, and Odin killed him too, before using Vali’s entrails to tie me to a rock. He sentenced me to a decade of constant snake venom streaming onto my forehead. I think he hoped it would kill me – he’d had enough of his friend’s help and didn’t want him anymore.’

‘Fuck, Gabe, that’s messed up,’ Dean said vehemently. ‘You’ll never deserve any of that.’

‘Really? Sometimes I think Dad had a hand in it, punishing me for running away.’

‘By killing your kids and torturing you? Then he’s one fucked up god.’

‘Don’t talk about him that way,’ Gabriel said with a wan smile. ‘He’s still my father.’

‘And you didn’t deserve any of that bullshit.’

‘Maybe, but it happened all the same, and I can’t go back and undo it all. It’s why –‘ Gabriel faltered, and Dean traced circles on Gabriel’s wrist, like Gabriel had done to him before to reassure him. He certainly hoped that it was what gave Gabriel the courage to continue. ‘It’s why I took to just sleeping with people who weren’t real for a long time, and the habit stuck. Kali was my first real relationship in centuries, and that fizzed out half a century ago.’

‘Oh.’ Dean hesitated before quipping, ‘Well I’m a guy, so you won’t have to worry about kids with me.’

Gabriel laughed, and reached up to press a kiss to Dean’s cheek, which made Dean feel gratified, and then ashamed of his own pleasure. ‘Thanks, sunshine.’

‘I told you to quit it with the “sunshine”,’ Dean said with mock menace.

‘Why? I think it suits you.’

‘It so fucking does not. I’d rather you called me “baby” than “sunshine”.’

‘Then I’ll call you “sunshine” until you like it.’ 

Dean extracted his hand from Gabriel’s to swat at his head playfully. It felt like smacking a brick wall, and he recoiled with a hiss of pain. 

‘What the fuck?’ he said underneath his breath.

‘Sorry,’ Gabriel said sheepishly. ‘Looks like my strength is returning. With any luck, we can stop this road-tripping bull soon if my wings strengthen.’

‘Thought you said you liked travelling with me.’

‘I do, but I don’t like seeing you suffer over Sam.’

That made a sweet kind of joy spread through Dean, and he made a mental note to have a seriously long talk with his brain about inappropriate reactions.

‘Chick flick moment over,’ Dean deadpanned. ‘Let’s stop for gas.’

‘Sure thing, sunshine,’ Gabriel said cheerfully, and Dean rolled his eyes.

-

‘Another night by the road,’ Gabriel drawled, clearly not looking forward to it at all.

‘You’re not really going to complain, are you?’ Dean said, making sure the doors were locked.

‘Not really. They’re the only times so far I get to sleep with you.’

Dean stuttered in his actions, a warm flush travelling up his face. ‘Shut up,’ he muttered half-heartedly.

When he sat back down, Gabriel had rolled up his sleeves and was taking off his bandage.

‘Don’t do that _here_!’ Dean protested in horror, but he was quickly quietened when the bloodied bandage came off clean skin. Gabriel’s arm had healed without a scar.

‘What do you know, my strength _is_ returning,’ Gabriel said happily, opening the window and tossing the bandage out.

‘Good, you won’t need to sleep right? Think you can keep driving?’

Gabriel shot him an alarmed look. ‘Um, no?! I – I don’t know how to drive –‘

‘Seriously? Eons of existence and you never learned to drive? Not even to pick up chicks?’ He recognised his mistake almost immediately as Gabriel raised an eyebrow. ‘Shit, I’m sorry.’

‘It’s okay,’ Gabriel chuckled. ‘Teach me sometime.’

‘Alright,’ Dean said, relieved his slip hadn’t triggered a bad flashback or anything. ‘But not in my baby.’

‘Where’s the fun in _that_?’ Gabriel snorted, but Dean was already half-asleep.

-

‘Where did Jor-Jo-‘

‘Jörmungandr.’

‘Right. Say he’d seen Sam, exactly?’

‘First, try saying it properly,’ Gabriel said. ‘If you’re going to be dating me, you need to know how to pronounce my kid’s name.’

‘Do we have time for this?’ Dean said impatiently.

‘Yes we do, Quincy’s still half an hour away. Now say it with me, syllable by syllable.’

‘Gabe!’

‘Sunshine!’

‘ _Fine_!’

So the next five minutes was taken up by Gabriel making Dean repeat the name over and over until he could spell and pronounce it. 

‘Why the fuck did you even _give_ him that name?!’ Dean demanded.

‘I didn’t give him that name. Gods don’t give names to their offspring, they’re kind of just chosen by the atmosphere.’

‘What?’

‘Look, don’t think about it too hard and just roll with it. Say it one more time.’

‘Jörmungandr,’ Dean sighed.

‘We need to work on your accent, but okay.’ Gabriel laughed. ‘Sam was last seen at a place called Ruby Tuesday.’

‘Are you _fucking_ with me?!’ Dean almost screeched in renewed distress. 

‘Hilariously, no.’

‘Fucking bastard probably _is_ soulless then,’ Dean said with a sulking pout. ‘He’d avoid it like a stripper with herpes if he had any scrap of heart left.’ 

‘Maybe he just appreciates the irony,’ Gabriel said amusedly.

‘I don’t give a fuck about irony, I’m going to kill that bastard just for going there.’

‘Alright, let’s wait until we find him, shall we? Take a right in front there.’

Silence reigned for a couple of seconds, before something occurred to Dean.

‘Did Jörmungandr say Sam was with someone? Like the woman we heard about in South Carolina?’

‘What?’ said Gabriel, getting the ‘I-was-hoping-you-wouldn’t-mention-that’ look in his eyes which Dean could recognise on anyone after years of reading faces.

‘Tell me,’ Dean said sternly.

‘Uh, no, he didn’t see the woman, but he did see, er, a guy.’

‘And?’

‘And they were um, apparently working together. On a hunt. Downing a witch over there or – or something.’

Dean gripped the steering wheel very tightly for a moment. ‘Gabriel, I’m going to ask you a question, and I want you to tell the truth.’

‘Baby, when have I ever lied to you?’

‘Gabe, this is serious,’ Dean said unwaveringly, eyes fixed on the road. ‘Promise me.’

‘Fine,’ Gabriel relented, but not without a huff of breath that seemed to roll from his toes and up to his throat. ‘Promise.’

‘What did Hela tell you when she visited you?’

‘Do I _really_ have to answer this?’ Gabriel said desperately.

‘You promised,’ Dean reminded.

‘What are you, eleven?’ Gabriel pouted.

‘No. I trust you, that’s all.’

Gabriel muttered something that involved the phrase ‘emotional blackmail’. Dean waited.

‘She’s the guardian of Hell, right?’ he began at last. ‘So she has special access to all kinds of places.’

‘Including The Pit?’

‘Yeah, including The Pit,’ Gabriel said with another sigh. ‘And she took a look in there for me. She saw Adam and his soul –‘ Dean winced, feeling guilt crawl over his arms, ‘- Michael’s grace, and Lucifer’s grace.’

‘And Sam’s soul,’ Dean finished acridly.

‘I’m sorry, Dean,’ Gabriel said, putting a hand over Dean’s wrist. Somewhere in the back of Dean’s mind, he registered that hands had become their territory. ‘I didn’t think you needed to know.’

‘Then what were you going to tell me when we found Sam soulless?’ Dean shot at him.

‘I’m _sorry_ ,’ Gabriel repeated with emphasis, and not without a hint of annoyance.

‘And why’d you say it’s _your_ problem anyway? How is it any less _my_ problem?’

‘Because I’m trying to think of ways to extract the soul once we find Sam.’

Dean nearly froze up, recovering himself just in time to let a car overtake them without crashing into it.

‘Like _what_?’

‘My problem, not yours,’ Gabriel said steadily.

‘Fuck that, he’s my brother!’

‘Well what do _you_ think you can do with your human body?’ Gabriel said angrily, his hand falling off Dean’s. ‘I’m the only one of us who can do anything about it! Listen, Dean, Sam’s smart, and that’s one thing his body has even without his soul. Believe me, his body won’t _want_ that soul back. Chances are, it’ll be frayed and torn up, and will put him in catatonia at best and kill him at worst.’

‘So why are you going to do it?’ Dean asked in a low voice.

‘Because I know you’re not going to rest until it happens.’ Gabriel slumped low in his seat. ‘I’ll find a way to do it that won’t hurt Sam. Or at least, will provide him with minimal damage. I’m going to be of _use_ to you, Dean.’

‘What – what does that mean?’ 

‘It means that I’m aware of the fact that I’m more burden than assistance, but I _will_ find a way to be helpful to you.’

It was at this convenient moment that Dean spotted a suitable motel, and paused to park before answering. Then he turned to face Gabriel and kiss him. Gabriel was warm, much warmer than when Dean had previously kissed him; this time, Dean could have no doubts that he was kissing something supernatural, because nothing human could burn so hot and yet still be so comfortable to have in his arms. Dean kissed him until he, at least, was breathless, and then he broke away, but kept himself close.

‘What am I supposed to get out of that kiss?’ Gabriel questioned.

‘You are frustrating in every way, but I can’t _believe_ you think you haven’t been of help to me!’ Dean hissed. ‘We wouldn’t even be here right now if it weren’t for you!’

‘But that’s not _really_ m-‘

‘I don’t want you doubting your self-importance anymore, you hear me?’ Dean tapped Gabriel’s chest with his fist, but lightly so as to not hurt himself. ‘It’s irritating as hell.’

‘Okay.’ And then Gabriel did something completely unprecedented. He threw his arms around Dean and hugged him, burying his face in Dean’s shoulder. ‘Thank you.’

Dean was staggered; he wasn’t sure how to react. He hugged back, but it was awkward in his mind. It was very different from hugging Sam; this had a kind of intimacy Dean hadn’t even felt with Lisa. Actually, he realised, it was intimacy he hadn’t had since _Cassie_.

‘F-for what?’ he stammered.

‘It’s just been a long time since anybody’s relied on me for something.’

‘Oh. Right.’ Dean gently detached himself from Gabriel to find that the angel was _beaming_. Just how long had he been alone anyway, cruising the world as a trickster? Whatever the time, it could probably be defined as ‘too long’. ‘Let’s go, huh? Sam doesn’t know we’re coming yet.’

‘Of course.’

They checked into the motel, and Dean pulled out the phonebook, saying he would try and call some local motels to see if Sam was checked into any of them. Gabriel gave him an odd look, but nodded and said he would go and ask at the restaurant for hints. Dean smiled at him, and he smiled back.

-

‘Wow, you look blue and dejected,’ Dean remarked when Gabriel came back.

‘Maybe, but I got lunch.’ Gabriel set down the plastic bag of takeout and sat down opposite Dean with a sigh.

‘What happened?’ Dean asked, sitting up straight.

‘It’s probably better if you don’t know.’

‘Makes no difference, I want to know.’

‘Alright.’ Gabriel dragged his chair closer to the table until his knees could touch Dean’s. ‘I got to talk to the cashier who had been on duty that day, and he said he remembered Sam for being the tallest person he’d ever met –‘

Dean snorted. ‘Figures.’

‘-and he was with someone, I’m assuming the man Jörmungandr mentioned. The guy said they’d only just started eating before they saw something that made them leave in a rush.’

‘Any idea what that was?’

‘Uh ...’

‘What?’

‘Maybe ... Jörmungandr ...?’

‘What do you mean?’ Dean frowned. ‘It’s not like Sam knows him, right?’

‘Well no. But we’ve been calling people, right? And people might have called Sam. He might have told them he doesn’t want us – or you, he might not know I’m with you – to find him for whatever reason he might give them. Plus, I tried retracing his steps and found the motel he stayed at.’

‘You did?’ Dean said with surprise. ‘I didn’t.’

‘That’s okay. There are a number of motels around here. Anyway, receptionist said they checked out in a hurry, but she wasn’t able to identify the license plate number of their vehicle either.’

‘So you think he knows we’re following him? C’mon Gabe, I know Sammy’s smart, but he’s not _that_ smart. How’d he even know Jörmungandr was wor- helping you out?’ 

‘Well you know what they say about a snake in the grass?’

‘Uh, the part where they’re a bad thing, or the part about being a hidden danger?’

‘The latter,’ Gabriel said. ‘Because they blend in with the crowd, right? A wolf in the grass, on the other hand ...’ He trailed away with a fond smile.

Dean gave himself half a minute before he gave in. ‘Am I missing a metaphor?’

‘More like you’re missing information,’ Gabriel said, looking skywards in exasperation. ‘Look, I think you’ve seen this illustration before.’ He snapped his fingers, and a picture that Dean had see while first researching Hellhounds appeared. It was a picture of a man with his hand inside the mouth of a large, bound wolf.

‘Yeah, I have,’ Dean nodded at it. ‘But I don’t remember much about the description. I think it was something about a giant wolf that was prophesised to bring death and destruction so they tied it up. It’s not a Hellhound though.’

‘Course not, _that_ was Fenrir.’

There was a moment of silence as Dean tried to make sense of this. Then he gave up on that, too. ‘I still don’t get it.’

Gabriel laughed and Dean tried to be annoyed, but failed. ‘Okay, here comes another story.’

‘You’re just full of stories,’ Dean said with a fatigued yawn. He stood up, stretched, and went to sit on the bed against the headboard instead.

‘Don’t you want to hear it?’ Gabriel said, sounding hurt.

‘Yeah, of course I do. Come here.’ Dean patted the space next to him on the bed, somewhat apprehensive that the gesture would be rejected as being too straightforward, but refusing to back down. Gabriel was startled, seeming to notice for the first time that there was only one bed in the room (it was cheaper, Dean would probably mutter if asked), but then he got up and joined him, leaving an inch of space between their bodies. 

‘I’ve lived a lot of lives, Dean,’ Gabriel said, leaning against the pillows with a contented sigh. ‘My time as Loki is just one of them.’

‘Would you ever have time to tell me them all?’ Dean teased. He turned on his side to face his companion, and Gabriel placed the tips of his fingers of one hand on Dean’s chest.

‘We’ll have a lot more time when you die and go to Heaven,’ Gabriel said, and Dean really hoped he hadn’t felt the spike in his heart rate – but who was he kidding? Gabriel could probably read his mind by now if he wanted to. ‘Have I ever mentioned how Odin is not only a racist bastard, but a jealous asshole too?’

‘I don’t know. What’s he jealous of?’

‘For a long time, everything to do with me that wasn’t himself.’ Gabriel dropped his hand and his eyes drifted shut. ‘He needed me to keep him as the chief of Asgard, to solve the problems he couldn’t, and so on. He was afraid that whoever else I hung out with might overthrow him, so when I was gone to Jotunheim, he went a little berserker on things. That’s kind of why Freya snuck out to get me back.’

‘Why’d you come back anyway?’

‘Partly because Angrboda was dying and I didn’t want to stay in Jotunheim anymore.’ Gabriel’s didn’t look like he was in pain, but he was definitely uncomfortable. Dean squirmed, wanting to offer reassurance, but unsure how. ‘But a lot of it had to do with Sleipnir.’

‘Who?’

The angel tensed, opened his eyes, and scratched his cheek self-consciously. ‘This is a judge-free zone,’ he said seriously.

‘Absolutely judge-free,’ Dean promised, immensely curious about what, exactly, Gabriel could be ashamed of.

‘I was young at the time,’ Gabriel explained. ‘The _world_ was young at the time. It was a very clever solution for a time when illusions hadn’t yet been developed.’

‘Dude, I’m not judging!’

‘But even if you say that, you’ll still judge me in the back of your mind!’ Gabriel wailed.

‘Then maybe you’d better not tell the story,’ Dean said, rolling his eyes.

‘Okay, no, listen.’ Gabriel inhaled deeply, then opened and shut his mouth several times before assuming a look of irritation and saying, ‘Remember the story of Svadilfari?’

‘The one with the wall and the horse that you lured away?’

‘About that ... you know how most animals operate mainly by scent and not sight, like humans?’

‘Yeah.’

‘And you know how hard it is to conjure an illusion of scent?’

‘Um, no.’

‘It is. But I _am_ a shapeshifter, s-so –‘

‘So what?!’ Dean spluttered when Gabriel didn’t make any visible movement to say anything more.

‘S-so I –‘ Gabriel shrugged and looked away, a blush rising into his cheeks. ‘I – you know –‘

‘No, I _don’t_. What did you do?’

‘I – y’know –‘ Gabriel mumbled something completely incoherent.

Increasingly frustrated, Dean sat up, leaned forward and said ‘ _What_?’

‘I – sh-shifted into a m-mare,’ Gabriel said, then shot Dean a look that simply _dared_ him to say something insulting.

As it was, it took yet another half minute for Dean to understand what Gabriel had said. Then he had to refrain from shouting ‘ _WHAT_?!’, or quickly backing away, or hurrying to the bathroom to vomit. Or laugh, there was also the horrible urge to laugh.

Because Dean was aiming for boyfriend-of-the-year award, he did none of these things. Instead, very slowly to calm himself, he said, ‘So Sleipnir is your – so you have – had – six kids?’

‘Yes. And now I’m left with four.’ Gabriel still wasn’t looking at him anymore, but Dean could see the lines of his face relaxing, and counted it as a win.

‘Oh. Okay.’ Dean nodded. ‘So what do you mean you came back for him?’ He was dying to ask if Sleipnir was a horse or a human/god/angel, whatever it was that angels gave birth to – shit he was making himself sick again - but realised how insensitive that would be. 

‘Sleipnir’s original form is a – a horse.’ Gabriel finally returned his gaze to Dean’s face, and Dean lay down next to him again. ‘Odin wanted to break him in as a steed, but I wouldn’t let him because Sleipnir is way more sentient than Svadilfari ever was. But I gave in because Sleipnir _wanted_ to be a war horse. Odin loved Sleipnir though – way more than he ever cared for me –‘ Gabriel said it exasperatedly, but Dean wondered if there was an old wound somewhere there, ‘so I didn’t feel bad about leaving Asgard for a while. But then Freya told me Odin was going bonkers, so I had to come back.’

‘...going what?’

‘Crazy.’

‘Right.’

‘Sleipnir’s not really a horse, anyway,’ Gabriel went on. ‘That’s his true form, but he sleeps in the palace in his human form all the time. He was always a little too old for his age,’ Gabriel added with a smile. ‘When I came back, Sleipnir was pretty happy about suddenly having two younger brothers and a baby sister. Odin, not so much. He proclaimed them as evil,’ the smile dropped from his face, ‘and mutilated their true forms.’

‘You can do that?’

‘Sure. I could change your true form to a toad, right now.’

‘Very funny.’

‘It’s not. He changed Fenrir to a wolf, Jörmungandr into a snake, and Hela into –‘ Gabriel hesitated, then rallied with, ‘You saw what he turned her into, didn’t you?’

Dean could only give a short nod.

‘He tried containing them by banishing them. I wasn’t going to stand for that, so I left. But the damage was done. I tried to repair them to their true forms –‘

‘Which were?’

‘They were pretty human, except a lot bigger than the average human today. Humans have been getting smaller through evolution.’ At Dean’s nod of understanding, Gabriel continued, ‘Anyway, I couldn’t do much other than give them the ability to transform into a human likeness, but I couldn’t make it their true form, and it’s not the same.’

There was silence for a while as Dean chewed on Gabriel’s words. A lot of things were becoming clear to Dean now – like the fact that Gabriel was so, so much more than he could ever imagine; had lived for so long, would live for millennia longer. Next to him, despite being chosen as Michael’s vessel, despite having saved the world from the very Apocalypse creatures like him lived for, he felt small and insignificant.

‘Jesus, Gabe,’ Dean said quietly, and Gabriel looked at him questioningly. ‘You’ve been through so much shit, I feel like I’ve been slacking off this whole time.’ _And that’s just the stuff you’ve been through during one life,_ Dean thought.

‘Don’t feel that way,’ Gabriel laughed. ‘You do the best you can; you’ve practically pushed the boundaries of being human. In the words of a man I once knew, “May the angels descend and shake hands with you”.’

‘Excuse me?’ Dean said with an arched eyebrow.

‘Angels are perfect in the sense that they go to extremities to obey orders,’ Gabriel said. ‘Basically what it means is that if you really force yourself to perfection, then you might as well be an angel.’ He paused. ‘That’s not a good thing.’

‘Do you realise that there are two things wrong with that sentence?’

‘One, angels go to extremities to obey orders? Two, being an angel isn’t a good thing?’

‘Right,’ Dean chuckled.

‘When God used to give orders, yeah. We’re made to obey God.’ A small trace of amusement flickered over Gabriel’s face. ‘Is being an angel a good thing? We’ve got the mojo and all, but most of the time, I’m jealous of you guys.’

‘Jealous of what?’ Dean said, taken aback.

‘Free will. You can’t guess what an effort it was just to make the idea that I could leave stick in my brain, once Dad wasn’t hanging around anymor. I guess you could say some of the things I did for Odin were out of misplaced loyalty from the duties I lost.’

‘You got there in the end though,’ Dean said, and Gabriel’s mouth twitched.

‘I did.’ 

‘So uh,’ Dean said after a moment, ‘Sam?’

Gabriel burst into laughter. ‘I’m so sorry, Dean!’ he gasped. ‘I forgot that was what we were talking about!’

‘Thought so,’ Dean snorted, but then he smiled too. ‘What were we saying again?’

‘Snakes and wolves in the grass.’ Gabriel sat up straight, but Dean had never seen him look so at ease before. ‘It’s not hard to imagine. We call someone, someone calls Sam, asks where he is to tell us, Sam tells him to shut up, and then he’s on the lookout for our people. Fenrir’s not exactly inconspicuous if you’re keeping an eye out for suspicious people.’

‘Well _yeah_ , but –‘

‘Dean, you don’t know how far the mind can think without a soul,’ Gabriel interrupted. ‘The soul is always clouding judgment, and if there’s something you don’t want to think about, your soul is going to help you to the point that it won’t even occur to you. Stripped of his emotions, Sam would explore all possibilities. If he knows that I’m with you, he’ll remember that I’m Loki, he’ll remember that Loki is Scandinavian, and ...’ Gabriel trailed off, clearly waiting for Dean to do the rest of the thinking.

‘And Fenrir and Jörmungandr look Scandinavian, is that it?’

‘Yeah!’

‘Do you know how little sense that makes?’ Dean said incredulously.

‘Makes sense to me,’ Gabriel said with a pout that had become way too familiar.

‘It’s not human sense,’ Dean said firmly. ‘Sammy hasn’t run away, he just had something else to do.’

‘Fool yourself,’ Gabriel said casually, lying back down. ‘He’s probably jumping at every weird-looking person right now.’

‘You’re so full of shit.’

‘Whatever makes you happy, but Sam’s still gone. I’ve tried asking around again, but nothing’s popped up. Fenrir and Sleipnir have taken two different directions to look for him too.’

‘Couldn’t you have put some sort of magical tracking device on him when Jörmungandr last saw him?’ Dean asked.

‘My children aren’t _magic-users_ ,’ Gabriel said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. ‘They can’t do that, and you can’t just give a magic spell to someone to throw at someone else.’

‘Sorry I didn’t know that,’ Dean mumbled, embarrassed, although he knew he shouldn’t be. ‘So now what?’

‘Now?’ Gabriel gave Dean a once over that, lazy as it was, made Dean flush hot from all the implications it held. ‘Well you got us a room with one bed for a reason, right?’

‘Uh, yeah.’

‘Then can we _please_ not wait another minute because I have been wanting you for _months_ and you’re starting to drive me _crazy_.’

‘Fuck _yes_.’

-

Not that Dean ever made assumptions (he never had regarding angels, you understand), but he always suspected that there might be perks to having sex with an angel. Right now, this was manifesting in the fact that Gabriel was cuddling up to him without worrying about his arms going numb.

‘Morning, sunshine,’ Gabriel said pleasantly.

‘I told you to cut it with the “sunshine”,’ Dean growled, although half-heartedly.

‘But Dean, you _are_ my sunshine. You light up my world and make it sweet and light when it turns bitter and dark.’

Laughing, Dean pushed the archangel away, and was surprised when he half-slid off him. Sex probably made him pliant, Dean thought.

‘Fine, I’ll know better than to romance _you_ ,’ Gabriel grumbled, righting himself so he could lay his head on Dean’s shoulder again. ‘Fenrir and Sleipnir contacted me a couple of hours ago to report a shitload of nothing, by the way.’

‘Did they text you?’ Dean said, surprised.

‘Dean, if they knew how to operate a phone, do you think we’d still be tracking Sam down by stale crumbs? I’d have had them on the line to a police station in every state by now if they could.’

‘What, don’t they get technology?’

‘Not really. They’ve been around a long time, mostly staying in the northern areas because things there don’t change too much. When you’ve lived as long as we have, change gets hard to get used to.’

‘You seem pretty okay with a TV, though,’ Dean said pointedly.

‘TVs are worth it,’ Gabriel grinned. ‘I don’t have much use for computers though, or even a microwave, so I’m not worried about them.’

‘Computers are worth it,’ Dean argued. ‘You can pick up hot chicks from the Internet.’

Gabriel shrugged and moved an inch closer to Dean. ‘Didn’t need it then, don’t need it now.’

_Now that you’ve got me?_ Dean thought silently.

He pushed the covers off and got out of bed. ‘Okay, let’s get back on the road.’

‘Already?’ Gabriel eyed Dean’s behind appreciatively. ‘Sam’s already so far away, what’s another half hour in bed going to hurt?’

‘We’ve got tonight,’ Dean said, although it _was_ a tempting prospect. ‘C’mon, clean-up.’

The angel assented with a long, exaggerated sigh.

-

You generally don’t wake up in the morning to the sound of a full family squabble if you live from motel room to motel room, but a Sunday dawned bright and early for Dean to the sound of two men shouting at each other. When Dean cracked an eyelid open, he saw Gabriel sitting in one of the chairs with his arms crossed, looking severe. One of the young men had broad shoulders and long legs which constantly looked ready to cross half the world in one leap; the other was big and muscular and put the fear of God into Dean. Or at least, put the fear of being thrown across the room like a rag doll into him.

‘That’s enough,’ Gabriel said coolly, and they instantly fell silent. ‘You’ve woken Dean.’

Glances were shot in Dean’s direction, and both looked thoroughly ashamed of themselves. Dean took the opportunity to sit up and say, ‘What’s going on?’

‘Brotherly squabble.’ Gabriel began to smile. ‘You know, normal domestic things that you have to deal with when you have a family.’

‘What’re they fighting over?’ Dean asked, rubbing an eye and deciding that this was not worth waking up at – he checked the clock – six am for.

‘They don’t need a reason.’

‘I object to that!’ protested long-legs. ‘We’re not air-headed and stupid, we fight to resolve a problem!’

‘Discussion resolves problems, not angry shouting,’ Gabriel said, rolling his eyes.

‘I don’t see why shouting can’t be called discussion!’

‘It’s not discussion without rational thinking,’ said the burly man quite calmly. ‘If you, too, compose yourself, we will have some real discussion.’

‘That’s just like you –‘ his brother snarled.

‘Okay, that’s enough, stop,’ Gabriel interrupted. They quieted again. ‘Here’s what’s happened in a nutshell: I gave you two specific instructions to go to a certain place at a certain time and you were both confused. It’s fine. Everyone makes mistakes.’ Dean wondered how Gabriel could refrain from getting sarcastic until he remembered that these were his own _children_. ‘Now I want you both to act like the close brothers that you are, walk around in Robert Singer’s general direction, and find out how fast he can catch you. Understood?’

‘Yes, Father,’ they said in very different tones.

‘Now introduce yourself to Dean.’

Dean abruptly shut his mouth from a yawn and said, ‘Hi.’

‘Hello Dean, I’m Fenrir,’ the large one said. He didn’t exactly smile, but his expression was warm. ‘We have all heard much about you.’

‘And exactly how much of it all was good?’

‘You’re a good man. It’s not hard to tell,’ Fenrir said, but he said it slowly, as if he didn’t quite understand what Dean was saying.

‘Right,’ Dean mumbled, looking away to hide a blush.

After an awkward silence, Gabriel said sharply, ‘Sleipnir!’

‘That’s my name,’ Sleipnir mumbled. ‘Hello, Dean Winchester.’

‘Hey.’ Dean’s brain had been slowly shifting into gear for a while, and now he was sufficiently awake to process that Fenrir was the wolf, and Sleipnir the horse. So far, none of his meetings with Gabriel’s children went the way he wanted them to _at all_. Why did so many of them have to pop up when his brain was asleep?

‘Sleipnir’s not feeling his best today,’ Gabriel said, appropriately being the voice of a reproaching parent.

‘I own up to it,’ Sleipnir said, shoulders slumping. ‘I have been very tired lately.’

‘Then let us brothers stick together in these times of need,’ Fenrir said kindly, putting an arm around Sleipnir. ‘Just refrain from shouting about it.’

‘That’s better,’ Gabriel said with satisfaction. ‘Can you guys go on good terms now?’

‘We are never on _bad_ terms,’ Sleipnir said, scandalised. ‘Disagreements are not _bad_ terms.’

‘We will get back to you once we have something to report,’ Fenrir said dutifully. They said their farewells, and left out the door. Gabriel crawled back into bed with Dean.

‘Did you sleep?’ Dean asked as Gabriel pressed their bodies together.

‘I don’t need it anymore,’ Gabriel said.

‘Do you usually wake up at six am to listen to your kids argue?’

‘Siblings will argue as long as sibling ties exist,’ Gabriel said cheerfully, and Dean laughed. ‘Go back to sleep, Dean.’

As Dean shut his eyes and did so, he wondered if the fact that he was dating Gabriel now made the children _his_ responsibility too. He’d always liked kids, but caring for young adults who were also _demigods_ seemed a bit much for a human to make a fatherly experience out of.

-

Dean’s life was going quite well, all things considered. Sure, Sam’s soul was rotting in Hell, not to mention that he couldn’t even find his brother’s body in the first place, but everything has a down side. Things were going as smoothly as things possibly could for Dean, right?

Wrong. First of all, he was a hunter, and life _never_ stopped hurling its shit at hunters. Secondly, he should have _known_ the vague mist of déjà vu that settled down on him was just a neon sign with the words ‘DANGER AHEAD’ flashing on it, because he was a goddamn hunter and déjà vu was never just déjà vu.

They were at a very fancy bar that Gabriel had picked out, and for the first time in years, Dean was there on a date. At least, he was there with someone who was not going to be his wingman, so if he had to, he would probably call it a date.

‘You have to appreciate the general atmosphere of a good bar,’ Gabriel chirped, looking into his glass. He’d asked for something Dean couldn’t pronounce, so Dean was rather curious about it. He was apprehensive about _trying_ it though, if only because it was the trickster who had ordered it first.

‘Sure, I guess,’ Dean answered. ‘Especially an expensive bar like this.’

‘I don’t think bars have a good record with relationships though. All those flirting singles and everything.’

‘Bars have always been good to _my_ relationships so far,’ Dean smirked. 

‘Are you trying to make me jealous?’ Gabriel returned, trying to look hurt and completely ruining it by grinning widely. ‘That’s not going to work on _me_. I have four kids and two ex-wives, _you’re_ the one who should be jealous.’

‘Did I say something?’ Dean said with a raised eyebrow.

Gabriel laughed. ‘No you didn’t, Dean. You didn’t say anything very loudly.’

It wasn’t that – that Dean was _in love_ with Gabriel or anything. At least, not yet. They had good sex, and Dean liked him a lot. There could be a time for love later, once they found Sam and –

‘Can I ask you something?’ Dean said.

‘That depends. Will I absolutely have to answer it?’

‘Do you have something to hide?’ Dean said suspiciously, momentarily sidetracked.

‘No, I just have things I’d rather not reveal,’ Gabriel said, smile turning sexily mysterious. It was a very good one too, because it did give Dean the urge to forget his question in favour of other activities. But Dean was insistent, because this was important, so he didn’t answer that.

‘Will you go to Heaven when you get all your angel mojo back?’

The smile faded slightly from Gabriel’s face. ‘I thought we were past the get-out-of-my-hair stage,’ he said with disquiet.

‘I didn’t mean it like that,’ Dean said hastily. ‘I meant –‘ 

_Don’t_ get out of my hair, that was what Dean meant and didn’t dare to say.

‘Oh, in that case,’ Gabriel said, returning to cheerfulness, ‘yeah, I’ve been brought back for a reason and I should fulfil it. I’ll –‘ he gave Dean a sideways glance, ‘I’ll come back sometimes, if you want?’

‘If _you_ want,’ Dean said, making an attempt at nonchalance despite his twitching mouth telling him that he wasn’t pulling it off very well.

‘Fine. It’ll be like those conjugal visit things.’

To Dean, ‘conjugal’ meant sex, so he replied ‘Fine’ in the same almost-indifferent manner, and didn’t really understand Gabriel’s look of bashful pleasure. 

‘Worried?’ Gabriel teased.

‘Nah, not really.’

‘Of course not. You don’t think I’d leave permanently at this stage, do you?’

Whatever ‘this stage’ was. _Dean_ certainly wasn’t thinking about it.

‘You _never_ leave permanently,’ Dean said pointedly. ‘I tried to stab you once, and you just came back a year later. Two years later, Sammy tried stabbing you, and came back _again,_ and – oh yeah, there was the time you said your brother killed you and here you are.’ 

‘I’m like a ring you keep losing and finding again in weird places,’ Gabriel laughed.

‘More like a bad dog that doesn’t know when he’s been kicked out,’ Dean snorted.

‘But a nice dog, like one of those cocker spaniels.’

Dean thought about this for a moment. ‘Fair enough.’

The conversation was broken off as a barmaid traipsed past them in heels, and they both stopped to check her out. Then they exchanged an appreciative nod, and Gabriel sniggered.

‘Right, I have another question for you,’ Dean said after a few seconds.

‘Curiosity killed the cat,’ Gabriel said, downing the rest of his drink.

‘Really?’ Dean deadpanned.

‘No,’ Gabriel admitted. ‘The original saying is “Care killed the cat”. It was a phrase that was popularised by Shakespeare, but then people forgot what “care” means and started changing it to “curiosity”. It’s a fairly modern saying.’

‘What do you even define as “modern”?’ Dean said incredulously, thrown off his train of thought.

‘Oh shut up.’

In supernatural romance movies, nobody ever worried about giant age differences, Dean mused. Not that he _was_ in a supernatural romance or anything.

‘For a month after Mystery Spot, Sam wouldn’t stop breathing down my neck,’ Dean said quickly to stop himself from thinking about it too hard. ‘It was like he was worried that if he looked away for a couple of seconds, I’d die.’

‘Unfortunate side-effect of watching your brother die multiple times in the space of a day,’ Gabriel nodded, trying to look serious.

‘After the time you stuck us in TV-land, Sam told me about the six months you let him go around without me.’

This time, the smile slid right off Gabriel’s face and he looked like he’d been backed into a corner he would much rather not be in. Dean’s heart did a horrible plunge into the bottom of his stomach.

‘Gabriel,’ he said warningly.

‘I didn’t do anything intentionally,’ Gabriel said quickly and defensively. ‘After it happened, I didn’t think I’d have to meet you again for long periods of time so I didn’t do anything about it. But then Dad brought me back, and I thought I’d tell you later –’

‘Tell me what? Where you put me then?’ It wasn’t as if Dean _hadn’t_ thought about it before. He assumed that he had simply died then and was dropped off at Hell, but since he didn’t remember anything about that, he wasn’t too fussed. Would _Gabriel_ get worried about it?

‘You – er – you don’t remember anything about that, do you?’

‘No.’

Gabriel nodded. ‘Good.’

‘What’re you not telling me?’ Dean demanded.

‘It’s not that I _don’t_ want to tell you,’ Gabriel mumbled, looking down at his empty glass. ‘Now that you’ve brought it up, I _do_ want to.’

‘So tell me.’

‘You’ll hate me,’ Gabriel said, sinking low into his seat.

‘Then you shouldn’t have done it.’

‘I told you, I didn’t mean to!’

‘What the fuck –‘ Dean said, utterly confused. 

Then Gabriel said, ‘Just try to understand, okay?’, leaned forward, and caressed his forehead with a thumb.

The old memories settled into Dean’s mind like a blanket of snow: soft, gentle, and extremely cold. He stood up.

‘Dean –‘ Gabriel tried to say.

‘Fuck off!’ Dean snarled, and stormed out of the bar.

-

Earlier, they had checked into a motel room with one king-sized bed, so Dean decided to drive around by himself for a while. 

He went down a highway that was largely empty of cars due to the late hour. Given the circumstances, he would have much preferred to drown his thoughts in alcohol than take them out for a drive, but these were thoughts that deserved thinking, if only for a little while, because he had forgotten them for so long.

-

The Norwegian forests were very beautiful, and the remote parts that Gabriel still visited even more so. Things lived there very quietly in those deep parts, and it was easy to feel at peace there, even without modern comforts.

When Dean had given up on trying to beat the living crap out of Gabriel with everything he could find inside the little shelter, Gabriel told him that Sam was safe, that he would make sure that Sam continued to be safe, and that Sam was just going to spend some time in another universe to find out something he needed to know.

‘Which is?’ Dean had said coolly.

‘That exchanging his soul for your soul would be a waste of time and faith,’ Gabriel answered flatly.

Dean was taken aback to think that the trickster might care. Afterwards, in the absence of other choices, he decided to trust him.

Most of the time, Gabriel went gallivanting elsewhere, but he left things for Dean. There was always delicious food and interesting books (Dean had decided he preferred the Dr. Sexy books then, and when he remembered this – well, the show was spoilt for him now, suffice to say), and he was allowed to wander outside and look around (although not too far, as he had discovered when he first got lost). Gabriel returned every night though, and when Dean gave in to his craving for society, they might talk.

It was never anything substantial. They didn’t talk about their numerous family issues; back then, Dean hadn’t even known he was an angel. ‘Norse God of mischief, the good guy,’ was how Gabriel introduced himself. 

‘Loki?’ Dean said, when it was clear that Gabriel wouldn’t. ‘I thought Loki was the bad guy.’

‘Then you obviously don’t know much about me,’ Gabriel said loftily. Several days later, much to Dean’s amusement, Gabriel presented several issues of the _Thor_ comics to him.

‘Not always accurate, but at least always kind,’ Gabriel had grinned. ‘I’d give you Mike Vasich’s book but I’m still making sure it’s safe for consumption.’

(Several days later, Dean found a porn magazine by his makeshift bed. _Get it?_ he thought drily. _Safe for consumption. Ha ha ha._ )

Once, Gabriel accompanied him on one of his strolls through the forest and asked him questions about himself. The first time this happened, Dean brushed him off and went on walking, so Gabriel told him jokes instead. _Terrible_ jokes, the kind that only the lowliest comedians stoop to.

‘Where’s the best place to find rabbits in France? The Hutch Back of Notre Dame.’

‘What do you call a crazy duck? A quack job.’

... and so on. He clearly only said it to amuse himself, but Dean laughed every time, because watching a demi-god chuckle to himself _was_ funny. Eventually, it spiralled into some kind of verbal ping-pong match, with them shooting jokes at each other.

They went walking several more times afterwards, and sometimes Dean talked about his mother. It was almost too easy to talk about her, and now Dean suspected that it was some kind of magic; perhaps not directly from Gabriel, but from the forest which had seen so much of Gabriel’s magic already. Gabriel always went solemn whenever she was mentioned, and Dean appreciated the respect.

Sometimes Gabriel took him out of the forest: to a nice outdoor café in Trafalgar Square, a beautiful library in Portugal which Dean wasn’t altogether sure they were allowed to be in, and a mysterious bar, the clientele of which Dean was pretty sure were mostly gods. A woman who gave her name as Freya hit on him and Gabriel simultaneously, which Gabriel found highly amusing.

Whenever Dean asked after Sam, Gabriel would disappear and come back an hour later with the report that he was doing fine. He always said things like, ‘He’s looking up a werewolf in Montana, and he just met a _really_ nice girl,’ with a suggestive smirk, so with such satisfactory information, Dean never really doubted him.

The recollection of this was what was currently filling Dean with the urge to set Gabriel on fire. He was sure Bobby had some leftover holy oil lying around the house that he could use.

Well maybe he wouldn’t set him on fire _completely_. He could throw a Molotov cocktail of holy oil at him, like Castiel had done to Michael. He couldn’t quite find it in himself to get rid of the bastard, and it was all said bastard’s fault.

There are things that happen to you when you are mostly stuck in one place with the same person for six months. For example, you get dependent on that person. You start to trust them implicitly. You might even begin to like them. In Dean’s case, although he was always worried out of his mind about Sam, he assured himself that if he was safe with the trickster, then Sam probably was too. And Gabriel was interesting and fun to talk to. The way Dean saw it, if he could choose who to get stuck with for six months, he wouldn’t have had it much better than him.

Dean kissed Gabriel one day, because what the hell, right? He had unfulfilled needs. Jerking off in the shelter was too uncomfortable because he was always wary about the fact that Gabriel could appear at any time and interrupt him. Besides, there was something to be said about sleeping with the god of mischief, and watching Gabriel come undone in his arms had been worth it.

Then all the little things became much more significant. Walks through the forest were suddenly romantic, Gabriel going so far as to hold Dean’s arm as they did so (not that Dean actually _let_ him, of course). It was probably Dean’s imagination, but they seemed to begin visiting cafes and restaurants during sunset more often, when the pinks and yellows of the sun made the atmosphere warm and comfy. In the mornings, Dean would wake up to find Gabriel still next to him. Gabriel was as warm as a bonfire on the Fourth of July, and it was always pleasant to wake up to a furnace that cuddled up to you of its own accord.

Right now, Dean had been travelling with Gabriel for over half a year, and his feelings for the angel were a bit of a muddle. Throw all _this_ into the mix, and it all became even _worse_ of a mess. Sure, people told you stories of how they fell in love with their significant others over and over again, but Dean doubted anybody had ever actually, literally done that.

He was ready to give the Molotov cocktail full consideration now. One toss wouldn’t kill Gabriel, but would hopefully be enough to make him scream in pain and would _definitely_ make him disappear for a while.

Sighing, he turned the car around and drove back to the motel. Gabriel still needed him, and he hadn’t quite lost _all_ affection for him yet.

Gabriel was passed out on the couch in their motel room, and judging from the state of his dress and the exhaustion etched onto the lines of his face, he had done a lot of moving around. Looking for Dean? The thought made the hunter feel simultaneously embarrassed and annoyed. It wasn’t like he’d gone very far, surely Gabriel would have been able to trace him if he wanted to?

Not that it was Dean’s problem, of course. At least Gabriel had had the goodness to leave the bed to Dean.

It wasn’t until he was half a minute from unconsciousness that Dean realised Gabriel didn’t need sleep anymore.

The next day dawned on a morning that was as frosty as the atmosphere inside the room. Dean’s fury had not abated one bit, and Gabriel was acting very meek about the whole affair. The angel handed Dean a cup of coffee without a word, and Dean accepted it without acknowledging Gabriel in any other way.

‘Are we ... leaving now?’ Gabriel asked tentatively.

‘I’m not done looking for clues about Sammy yet,’ Dean said, which wasn’t strictly true. The part of him that still used the mentality of a five-year-old simply wanted to spite him in whatever small way he could manage.

‘Do you want me to come with you?’ said Gabriel.

‘Nope,’ Dean said, already out the door.

-

This wasn’t like their previous silences, which always felt like they had an ending in sight, as all silences between people who know they are going to be together for a long period of time do. Firstly, Gabriel’s offence so severe, Dean was an inch away from being glad to see the back of him, and not in the way he was usually happy to see his behind. Secondly, the only thing Gabriel _couldn’t_ yet do was fly over long distances, which meant that he would be completely restored as an archangel soon. And then, well, would Dean still want to see him again?

Gabriel wasn’t going to ask, and Dean wasn’t going to offer an answer. So they moved around each other – or rather, Gabriel trailed Dean as he had for most of the past year – and pretended they weren’t concerned with the question. As a matter of fact, Dean definitely wasn’t, because he wasn’t thinking about it at all. Whenever his mind nagged at him to consider it, he would simply turn the music up louder, or swallow another mouthful of alcohol.

See? Not even thinking about his problems. Healthy, right?

After three days of this stony silence, Gabriel turned to Dean and said, ‘Can I apologise for this?’

‘Don’t know what good it’d do, but you can try,’ Dean grunted.

‘I’m sorry,’ Gabriel said pleadingly. ‘You know I didn’t mean for ... for it all to happen.’

‘You lied to me about Sam,’ Dean said smoothly.

‘I didn’t!’ Gabriel said indignantly. ‘He was always technically sound in mind and body.’

This speech, far from soothing him, only served to rouse Dean to further anger. ‘Fuck you! I can’t believe I fucking trusted you _twice_ , and you betrayed me every time!’ He shot Gabriel a dirty look and said, ‘Anything else you’re hiding from me?’

‘Like what?’ Gabriel said, becoming sulky.

‘Sammy’s whereabouts maybe?’

‘What the hell are you saying?’ Gabriel said, nonplussed.

‘I don’t know,’ Dean said bitterly. ‘Maybe you’ve set this all up so you could get to me – maybe even play some kind of trick on me. How do I know Sammy’s even alive?’

‘ _What?!’_ Gabriel’s yell of outrage made something in Dean, the part of him that remembered that he was dealing with _a freaking archangel_ , flinch away despite there being nowhere to go inside the moving car. ‘How _dare_ you think that I would _ever_ go so far!’

‘You did that with Sam,’ said the part of Dean that wasn’t co-operating with the part that was insistently telling him to _stop right now before Gabriel got his smite on_.

‘That was completely different,’ Gabriel growled. ‘Your human mind could never comprehend what I was trying to do.’

‘Right, tell me how _stupid_ I am compared to you, that’s a great way to apologise,’ Dean said sardonically.

Deep down, or perhaps not so _very_ deep down, Dean knew that Gabriel would never hurt him. That, at least, he trusted him with, because – 

‘I’m sorry,’ Gabriel said, suddenly slumping in his seat. Dean was surprised. Was Gabriel giving in so soon?

‘For what?’ Dean couldn’t help saying.

‘Everything,’ the angel sighed. ‘Everything to do with Mystery Spot, dumping myself on you when Dad brought me back, being nearly useless in looking for Sam, getting you to change my bandages all the time just because I specifically want _you_ to do it ...’

That – that almost made Dean laugh. He didn’t because he was still a long way from not being angry at Gabriel, but the urge was there.

‘Should have fucking known,’ he muttered. After a moment’s hesitation, he added, ‘I’m cool with that last one.’

‘Good to know.’

‘And you weren’t useless while looking for Sam, Jesus.’

Gabriel nodded. He looked like he might want to say something, but it was stuck in his throat.

‘But you still owe me for the rest.’

‘Sorry,’ Gabriel said again.

‘Not gonna cut it.’

‘I know. But I am.’

They didn’t speak again until the night when Dean settled down for sleep. Gabriel stopped him, saying, ‘Could I –‘

Dean was inclined to ignore him, but then Gabriel cleared his throat and said, ‘Could I kiss you, please?’ and Dean spluttered.

‘What?’ he choked out when he found his voice again.

‘Please?’

‘What for?! Why do you think I’d even want to kiss you right now?!’

Thankfully, Gabriel didn’t try to say anything like ‘Because you’ve done it plenty of times before.’ Instead, he said, ‘For luck,’ with a question mark at the end.

Perhaps it was the way Gabriel said it, all wide eyes and mournful begging as if it was going to be his last night on Earth. It gave Dean a very bad feeling, so he said, ‘Fine.’

To Dean’s surprise, it was nothing more than an innocent peck on the lips. Only Gabriel’s hands on Dean’s face lingered for a moment, and then he was stepping back.

‘See you,’ he said, and with a _whoosh_ of wings taking flight, he was gone.

_Probably to go on looking for Sam_ , Dean thought. _I wonder how far he can fly now?_

Something about it didn’t sit quite right with Dean, but be brushed it off and lay down. Right now, he didn’t care for the whims and fancies of angels.

-

Gabriel was not there the next morning. Gabriel had _never_ not been there in the morning, but – firsts for everything, right? Dean showered and brushed his teeth, then went out for breakfast at a coffee shop. As he stood in line and read the menu, he pondered buying Gabriel a hot chocolate, but shrugged the thought away. He was still angry, and Gabriel didn’t need food anymore anyway.

He resisted the urge to check at the motel after coffee, and immersed himself in the search for Sam by himself. Not that there was anything in particular in the town pointing to Sam’s whereabouts. He was seriously starting to think that Gabriel might have been right about Sam trying to keep away from them.

Dean was alone all day. Even the inhabitants of the town appeared to be eager to avoid society, replying to Dean’s questions in short, blunt sentences.

Neither was there a hunt to be found anywhere. Or rather, Dean couldn’t find a hunt anywhere. It annoyed him to think he had gotten complacent about looking for hunts – Gabriel had always been able to spot one twenty miles away. He didn’t want to be dependent on the angel in _any_ way, not after what happened the last time he’d done that.

While Dean was having his dinner, his phone rang. He was quite ready to snap at the next person who dared speak to him, but when Ben’s voice spoke through the phone with a ‘Hey, Dean?’, it quite threw him off.

‘Ben?! What – what’re you –‘

‘Hi. Sorry I haven’t properly talked to you in a while, I thought Mom might get mad if I did.’

‘No, it’s okay, kid.’ Dean was suddenly smiling, the sound of a familiar voice soothing him. ‘How’ve you been?’

‘Fine, everything’s fine. Mom has a new boyfriend, though.’

‘Good for her,’ Dean said, although he felt an odd twinge in his stomach that he couldn’t quite decipher. ‘Is he nice to you?’

‘Pretty nice. He doesn’t know how to kick a ball,’ Ben said exasperatedly, ‘but he’s trying to teach me all about computers. I think he’s trying to – to make me get used to him, you know?’

‘Becoming part of the family?’ Dean suggested.

‘Yeah, that’s right! What do you think?’

‘Hey, if you and your mom like him, I think you’ll be fine. Your mom’s got good taste in boyfriends anyway.’

Ben snorted with laughter. ‘Yeah, whatever. So how are _you_ doing?’

‘Me?’ Dean said, taken aback. ‘I’m fine. Keep getting close to Sam and losing him all over again, but he can’t run away forever.’

‘Oh. Is – is Gabriel with you?’

The knot that had been forming in Dean’s chest all day tightened as he said, ‘Not right now. Why?’

‘Just wanted to know. You should be careful about travelling alone.’

An awkward pause hung in the air.

‘What did you say?’ said Dean finally.

‘I said ... I said “be careful about travelling alone”...?’ 

‘How do you know I’m travelling alone?’ Dean asked, trying to calm his beating heart.

‘Y-you said Gabriel wasn’t there –‘

‘I said Gabriel’s not with me _now_. How do you know I’m going around _alone_?’

‘I just meant –‘

‘What do you know that I don’t?’ Dean said, struggling to keep his calm. ‘Ben, tell me!’

‘I don’t know anything!’ Ben said unrelentingly. ‘I just –‘

‘Ben!’

‘Oh, Mom’s calling me to dinner, I have to go!’

‘Wait, Ben -!’

The line clicked, and Dean tossed the phone onto the table with a curse.

So Gabriel had taken off and put Ben on duty to ask after Dean. Gone – to Heaven, probably. Leaving Dean to search for Sam. Alone.

He got up, paid for his food, and hurried out before he gave in to the desire to overturn every single table in the restaurant.

-

Well, so what if Gabriel had gone? Dean could look for Sam without the help of supernatural creatures. It would probably be easier then, actually. Humans could blend in with other humans far easier than a horse, a wolf, a snake, and a half-dead girl could. It wasn’t like Gabriel _owed_ him or anything. It wasn’t like Dean would miss him.

Really, Dean was glad he was gone. It was much easier to be mad at someone when they weren’t around to direct puppy eyes at you, and he’d had enough of having his trust betrayed. He neither needed nor wanted the trickster around.

That was what he told himself on Saturday.

-

Ben called again the next day. He sounded rather sheepish.

‘Hi, Dean,’ he said.

‘Hey.’

‘I promised not to say anything about it,’ Ben said solemnly. ‘So can we not –‘

‘It’s fine,’ Dean cut him off. ‘It’s something between you and Gabe, right? I won’t ask.’

‘Okay,’ said Ben with audible relief. ‘Where are you?’

‘Driving to New York. I have no idea what I’m doing. It’s impossible to find anyone around there, but someone told me he went there.’

‘Cool, send a postcard.’

‘No. Everything there is expensive.’

‘Send an email?’

Dean laughed.

‘Okay, you got me. I’m not that cheap, I’ll get you a postcard. Unless you think your mom’s new boyfriend wouldn’t like it?’

‘That’s not any of his business,’ Ben said firmly, and Dean swelled with pride. 

Later, when he was going through souvenir shops to look for something to send, he wondered what, exactly, Gabriel had been thinking when he had made this arrangement with Ben. If he wasn’t going to bother watching over Dean himself, why send a twelve-year-old? It didn’t make any sense to him – but then, sense was rarely ever apparent in Gabriel’s schemes. (The back of Dean’s mind muttered something about horses that he quickly tried to dismiss.)

-

On Sunday, Dean dreamt of the forest he had lived in with Gabriel for six months. He woke up feeling a deep sense of loss, and it took him some time to recall his dream. Then he got up, washed his face, and tried to forget about it.

It was hard, though, because Dean had to admit to himself that he _did_ miss the shelter he shared with Gabriel there. It was only protected by the overhead canopy, yet rain never touched it, and when the nights turned cold, fires were easily lit in case of Gabriel’s absence. Dean had never had to worry about anything much during his time there – mostly because Gabriel wouldn’t let him – but it had made him feel at peace for a while. 

That was the _only_ thing he missed_, though. He certainly didn’t miss the asshole who put him there in the first place. That person could go and get himself stabbed again for all Dean cared, because he didn’t. Gabriel would deserve it, and Dean would be all the happier to know that he was rid of him. He _was_ happier to be without Gabriel.

Wasn’t he?

He rolled over to his side and forced himself to go back to sleep. A few hours later, he woke up again, ready to give life a punch in its stupid face.

In a candy store at the corner of a street, Dean talked to the young woman with a dreamy expression who said she had seen Sam along with an older man who might have been his father, or just as easily his grandfather, discussing game-hunting in Pennsylvania. 

Dean walked out and found that he couldn’t muster up the enthusiasm to be excited about finding Sam. He was just so _tired_ of looking and losing over and over again and – as much as he hated to admit it – without a partner, it just felt worse.

-

For most people, Mondays are bad days because they are the beginning of the week. Dean mostly did not keep track of the days of the week, yet even _he_ knew Mondays were the worst day of the week. Second only to Tuesday, probably. But this Monday did not turn out to be a bad day at all.

The journey to Pittsburgh took an impossibly long time without company. Dean kept thinking of all of Gabriel’s stories about the Norse pantheon and the terrible family that he had made himself a part of. Terrible families seemed to follow Gabriel around. First the garrison, next the Norse gods, and then Gabriel had allied himself with Dean, king of royally fucked-up families? He kind of had to appreciate that.

He let his mind wander in an attempt to amuse himself. And just as he crossed the border of New York, something dawned on him.

It is almost a rule in families that siblings largely do not get along. Most of them fight over differences. There was nothing, _nothing_ , Dean would not do for his brother, and this passion was requited, but they _were_ siblings, and they _were_ very different.

One area in which this was always demonstrated was in how they dealt with their feelings, and how they felt the _other_ should deal with his feelings. While Dean saw nothing wrong in bottling it all up (or drowning them in the bottle – a slightly more satisfying solution), Sam preferred to talk about it. Talking made Sam feel better. Sam _choosing_ not to talk about a problem was the sign of a _severely_ bad problem.

Sam hadn’t talked about Mystery Spot, not even the parts that Dean knew about. After it happened, Dean would sometimes gently ask him if he was okay, and Sam would brush it off.

But he had done it, in the end. It took him two years to voluntarily broach the subject, and even then with a tight expression, but he _had_ done it at last, and that meant it didn’t hurt so much anymore. 

Besides, it _was_ Sam who had first suggested allying with Gabriel. If he had been willing to work closely with him ... then he wouldn’t _really_ mind Dean being in a _relationship_ with him, even after everything Gabriel had put him through. Everything to do with TV land was small potatoes in comparison, so –

So Dean, if not forgiving the mistake, would certainly deign to forget it.

The Norwegian forests appeared in his dreams again that night. This time, he didn’t chase the memory away – at least, not until the cold, hard realisation of the fact that Gabriel was still gone without ever having said goodbye hit him again.

-

Tuesday, Ben called, and after the usual pleasantries asked, ‘Are you with Gabriel?’

‘No. You know that.’ Dean found it hard to keep the accusatory note out of his voice, but Ben either did not notice it, or chose to ignore it.

‘I mean are you _with_ Gabriel? Like, are you guys a couple?’

‘Are you two a couple?’ is one of those questions that people almost always think very hard about answering, even if they don’t actually need to. As a matter of fact, the answer is usually very simple, but people like to imagine that love is never simple, even if it is not there.

‘Haven’t you asked Gabriel?’ Dean said.

‘I did once, but he said that you’re the one who can answer that.’

‘When was “once”?’

‘When he called to ask me to check up on you,’ and there was the sound of Ben clamping his hand over his mouth.

But Dean hardly noticed – he was too busy trying to swallow the fact that Gabriel had left it to him to decide whether they were still (or should that be ‘had ever been’?) together instead of rejecting the idea outright. He could say no, and Ben would probably tell Gabriel and Gabriel would leave him alone. He _should_ say no. And it would _serve him right._

‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘We are.’

‘Oh.’ Quickly getting over his slip of the tongue, Ben said, ‘Did you leave Mom for him?’

‘What?! No! _She_ left _me_!’

‘Yeah, but she said you were neglecting her.’

‘She said that to you?’

‘I _overheard_!’ Ben said, immediately on the defensive. ‘It wasn’t eavesdropping!’

Dean let that one slide. ‘If I was, it was because of Sam, okay? Not Gabriel. I haven’t stopped hating Gabriel yet.’

‘But I thought you said –‘

‘I _know_. That doesn’t mean I can’t hate him too, okay? It’s complicated. Look, I’m sorry to say this, but you’ll understand when you’re older.’

‘Fine,’ said Ben, although sounding somewhat mutinous. Dean hardly blamed him. What kid didn’t hate the phrase ‘when you’re older’? ‘So you and Gabriel just fell in love?’

Typical kid, asking all the important questions. Maybe that was Gabriel’s objective in getting Ben to talk to Dean: coaxing him into admitting those kind of things. It was the kind of sneaky thing that would be exactly his style.

‘Actually ... Gabriel and I kind of had a thing once,’ Dean said slowly, turning the words over in his mind as he said them. ‘But we had to split up because of the Apocalypse and stuff. I guess we just kind of fell in – fell together again,’ he corrected himself hastily before he could say something that would _really_ enter chick-flick-zone.

‘So Gabriel’s like your true love?’ Ben said.

‘Did I say anything about love?!’ Dean said a little too quickly. ‘I mean, uh, no I don’t believe in true love,’ he amended. Not that he’d ever thought about it, but he felt the need to recover some dignity after Ben had made it apparent how see-through he actually was. He’d lost too much of it in one day to feel altogether comfortable with himself.

‘I don’t either,’ Ben declared. ‘I bet you could have lots of loves in your life and have loved them all the same, right?’

Thinking of Angrboda and Sigyn, Dean felt a smile tug at his mouth. ‘Right.’

‘By the way, you should tell Gabriel that you love him. I don’t think he knows.’

‘I don’t think he knows either,’ Dean said. Then he started silently but vehemently cursing himself in the most colourful vocabulary he knew of.

‘So ... you’re gonna tell him ... right ...?’ Ben said slowly after he realised Dean wasn’t saying anything else.

‘What? Oh yeah. I mean no!’ Dean said, regaining a bit of himself. ‘I think – I think he’ll be able to understand without me saying anything, actually.’

‘I give up on trying to understand adults,’ Ben said exasperatedly, and Dean chuckled.

Tuesday ended quite well, except that Dean didn’t even know if he’d ever have the chance to actually speak to Gabriel again. Not that he thought that Gabriel would just up and leave after everything he’d been through. He just supposed that Gabriel would be in the right to do so.

In the mean time, he’d work on getting over the fact that he’d just admitted to being in love with an angel of the lord. 

-

Wednesdays have the highest suicide rate in the week because they’re the time when weeks start to look like they will stretch on forever, but Dean’s Wednesday marked the start of something new and almost certainly wonderful for him.

Not that it _looked_ like it would start that way. The morning sky was that flat, grey colour which usually indicated that it would remain the same colour all day, thus making the whole day take on the feel of one long morning, or one long afternoon. As Dean was looking through his duffel bag to make sure that his usual supplies of hunting gear were in stock, he caught sight of a shadow lingering outside the room out of the corner of his eye. Not wanting to make it look like he had noticed in case it was someone trying to ambush him, he pretended to continue being busy while keeping a watch on the person. The shadow appeared nervous, as it kept visibly shuffling from one foot to another.

The person knocked. Dean’s hand flew to his gun, and he carefully opened the door.

There was a second’s tension, and then Dean punched Sam on the side of the face.

By the time Sam had recovered from the blow, Dean had tied him up in the middle of a Devil’s trap, and his face was sopping wet. 

‘S-Sammy?!’ said Dean’s shocked voice.

‘Um, yeah, really me.’ Sam coughed out the saltwater that had got up his nose. ‘Just uh, get me a silver knife to rule out some other dozen creatures, yeah?’

Without a word, Dean pressed the point of his knife to Sam’s exposed shoulder until he drew blood. Next minute, he’d cut Sam free and was hugging him fiercely. Sam immediately relaxed in his arms and returned the hug warmly, and they stayed that way long enough for Dean to swallow back his tears and muster up the spirit to pull away with a steady smile.

‘Know of a way to test someone for their soul?’ he said.

‘No,’ Sam said, letting out a huff of laughter, ‘but Gabriel said he fixed it and I should be mostly fine now.’

Dean froze, and it was several seconds before he could so much as say, ‘What?’

‘Gabriel,’ Sam explained. ‘He found me by using my soul or something. I don’t really get it, but it worked. I mean, he went back in time to get my soul from just after I fell into the Pit so I wouldn’t be too messed up or something. I might uh,’ Sam stopped to think back, ‘experience an “unbalanced maturity” or something while trying to get used to memories that my body experienced without my soul.’ He shrugged. ‘I didn’t really get it, but Gabriel said the worst I should get is headaches sometimes, so we owe him.’

‘Wait a second,’ said Dean, having been lost somewhere along ‘went back in time to get Sam’s soul’. ‘You mean he ... went back in time to get your soul before it got mangled by Michael and Lucifer – can he _do_ that?’

‘I guess,’ Sam shrugged. ‘He did it, didn’t he? It probably means that this whole time, my soul was never really _there_ , in the Pit.’

‘But how does that even make any sense?’ Dean said incredulously. He was struggling to wrap his mind around the information; it didn’t seem to quite fit. ‘Sure he can go back in time, but the soul would have to be _somewhere_ during that period of a year, right?’

‘It’s the trickster,’ Sam said, looking uneasy about the topic. ‘I wasn’t too keen on asking.’

‘Well I’m not scared to ask,’ Dean muttered, looking away as he thought of the various ways he could ‘ask’, including some methods Sam should not be privy to.

‘He _did_ save my soul, though,’ Sam said, trying to regain Dean’s gaze. ‘It _is_ me. I remember the difference between my body having a soul and being without it. I feel pretty good, considering.

‘What else did he tell you?’ Dean asked, still not looking at him.

‘Not much. He told me that you two have been looking for me for a while, and that’s why he was helping me out. Then he told me where you are, and – oh yeah! He wanted me to tell you something because it’d be a while before he’d be able to get down here.’

‘What is it? ‘Dean said, somewhat apprehensively.

‘That he knows this doesn’t make up for it. I don’t know what “it” is, but –‘

‘Oh,’ Dean said, slack-jawed. ‘Oh God.’

‘What?’

‘Oh my God. He – he said that?’

‘Yeah, but what –‘

‘He fucking _said_ that?’ Dean nearly screeched. ‘That bastard, I’m going to _kill_ him! After all this and he thinks I still wouldn’t –‘

‘What are you _talking_ –‘

‘That’s not even an apology anymore, that’s just _sulking_! Fuck this –‘

‘Are you –‘ Sam said with alarm, but Dean recovered then and hushed him.

‘Give me a minute to pray,’ he said. And then he yelled at the ceiling, ‘Gabe, you gigantic dick, this is the only opportunity I’m giving you to speak to me again!’

Five people appeared in the room at once, and Sam jumped back in surprise. Dean, however, remained unruffled, recognising the four grouped around his angel.

‘I’m in the middle of something,’ Gabriel said, and he looked it too. His face, neck, and hands, the only visible part of him, were covered in painful-looking scratches, and his shirt had obviously been hurriedly buttoned up. Judging from Sam’s surprised reaction, the wounds had not been there last time he had seen the angel. Nevertheless, Gabriel looked genuinely pleased by Dean’s call.

‘What’s this?’ Dean said weakly as he gestured at Gabriel’s body, rather thrown from his previous anger.

‘Souvenirs from my trip downstairs.’ Gabriel said casually. ‘They don’t bother me too much.’

‘They’re magical scars though, aren’t they?’ Dean said, advancing towards him. The children scuttled to make room for him, but not where they could not be in reach of their father.

‘They are. Some will fade, some won’t. I don’t care. Did you miss me?’

‘I bet you’ve called Ben already, haven’t you?’ Dean said, stopping when there was only an inch of space between them.

‘Maybe,’ Gabriel said, eyes sparkling in a way that made Dean ache all over in a pleasant sort of way.

‘I don’t actually know if I trust you enough to be in love with you yet,’ Dean said almost threateningly.

‘Don’t lie to yourself, Dean, that’s just disrespectful,’ Gabriel laughed, but Dean felt a slight tremor of anticipation from him. It comforted him to know that Gabriel was just as unsure about it as he was.

‘Shut up. I’m saying that I’m not cool with it yet, okay? I’m not cool with a lot of stuff yet.’

‘But you’ll try to get over it, right?’ Gabriel said hopefully.

Without pausing for breath in case he started thinking, Dean answered, ‘Yes.’

‘Good.’

They reached for each other at the same time, and though it hadn’t been that long (hardly a week as a matter of fact), Dean had forgotten how they could fit together. Not in the sappy way that people describe it, ‘as if we were made for each other’, but in the way two people who get to know each other – _really_ get to know each other – manage to fit when they work at it. For his part, despite how gentle he was trying to be, Dean also tried to put some things in the kiss, like how much he’d missed Gabriel, how grateful he was for everything he’d given up, and mostly that if Gabriel ever touched his mind again, they’d be through.

‘You didn’t even say goodbye,’ Dean said bluntly with his arms still around the angel, because there are some things that aren’t worth communicating through a kiss.

‘I didn’t want you to think I was leaving,’ Gabriel said. Dean gave an inelegant sort of laugh, but stopped when Gabriel continued, ‘And if something happened to me while I was down there, I didn’t want to leave you hoping.’

‘So it wasn’t easy, huh?’ Dean said. It was a stupid thing to say because, _obviously_ , but Gabriel understood that Dean just needed to say it and nodded.

‘You have no idea!’ Hela burst out, and everyone turned to look at her. ‘I didn’t even want to let Father in, but he was so insistent about helping you! I certainly hope you are thankful!’

‘I am, Hela,’ Dean smiled at her. ‘I wouldn’t know what to do if it weren’t for your dad.’

‘The number of times I’ve heard that,’ Sleipnir muttered, and his brothers sniggered. 

Gabriel flushed but said, ‘C’mon guys, don’t mention that or you’ll get Dean jealous.’

‘I think jealousy might be a good thing for him to get, reflecting on the past couple of weeks,’ Jörmungandr said. Gabriel opened his mouth to reproach him –

‘Dean, you have so much explaining to do,’ Sam said in a rush, trying to get a word in before Gabriel could continue, the sentences ‘I really hope the “Father” is some kind of metaphor’ and ‘Are these _demigods_?!’ hanging unspoken in the air for a moment. ‘And you’re going to do it ... after I get a soda.’

‘I’d like a soda,’ said Fenrir thoughtfully, and Sam balked with a kind of terror on his face.

‘Yeah Sammy, why don’t you bring the kids out for lunch while Gabe and I catch up?’ Dean said brightly. 

‘Shouldn’t – shouldn’t they be patching Gabriel up or something?’ Sam protested faintly.

‘Me? I mostly am,’ said Gabriel cheerfully. And to really emphasise the message, he visibly tightened his grip on Dean. ‘Just go off and get to know your nephews and niece. We’ll be fine.’

‘I, for one, don’t want to stay here,’ Sleipnir said, coming up link arms with Sam. Sam looked like he only didn’t stop him out of alarm. ‘It’ll probably get warm.’ 

Gabriel waved as his children half-dragged Sam away, and Dean chuckled. When they were gone, Dean gave Gabriel a quick once-over.

‘You’re not really okay, are you?’ he said.

‘No.’ Gabriel delicately touched a cut and winced. ‘You can’t even imagine the kind of things they get down there, really, _really_ deep down.’

And Dean had a lot of questions about that. There were way too many things to talk about, to explain, or to quietly contemplate with each other, but ... Gabriel had been gone long enough. Dean gave him a brief, gentle kiss on the mouth, and said, ‘Give me some way to help?’

‘Oh yeah.’ Gabriel grinned and pressed their bodies flush together. ‘There are some ways you can make it all better.’

‘Tell me,’ Dean said, and pulled him to the bed. As they both sank onto the covers, Dean could have given a sigh of contentment. He felt at home.


End file.
